


Neverland

by bibliosoph



Series: Neverland (Peter Pan AU) [1]
Category: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Peter Pan Fusion, Bisexual Simon Snow, Happy Ending, M/M, Neverland (Peter Pan), Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, baz is wendy, simon snow is peter pan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliosoph/pseuds/bibliosoph
Summary: Ever since Baz was a child, he heard stories of Simon Snow and his adventures in Neverland. For Baz, stories of Simon are more than just stories--they are true. The tales become his way to escape his harsh reality and his old-fashioned family. When his sister is old enough to understand, he tells her about Simon Snow and his battles with The Insidious Humdrum and how he and his fairy help-mate, Penelope, save Neverland on a daily basis. What Baz doesn't know is that there's always someone lurking outside his window when he tells these stories.Ever since Simon was born, he knew that the real world wasn't the place for him. His mother died during childbirth and his father, in turn, became an abusive drunk. So, when Simon was seventeen, he escaped to Neverland where he would never have to grow up and be like his father. Now that he's been there for so long (he lost track of the years overtime) he starts to wander back into the real world to see how things have changed. One night he hears, through an open window, a silky voice telling stories of Simon Snow the Great Adventurer. The boy that didn't want to grow up. So Simon hovers outside the window night after night, just to hear what the boy has to say.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce & Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Neverland (Peter Pan AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615684
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	1. The Boy in the Big, Lonely House

It was a summer's night when Simon first came across the house. He had been feeling so bored in Neverland with only Penny to keep him company (though he did really enjoy her company) so he had decided to return to the city he once called home just to see how things had changed. It used to be his house, the big one on the corner. Over the years he'd stopped keeping track of the time, but he figured that he hadn't been away too long. He wanted to see his father. To show him how well he'd turned out despite everything. 

(He was, in fact, very well-off, based largely on his ability to fly). 

But his father wasn't there. Nothing he remembered was there. The old street lights had been replaced by newer, modern ones that became lit as soon as it was nightfall. The carriages that had once roamed the streets had turned into small, metal contraptions with wheels and lights. (Were the horses somehow inside of the contraptions?) So Simon was sad. Incredibly sad. After all his time in Neverland with Penny and fighting the Humdrum, he'd forgotten to come back to say a final goodbye to his father. To visit his mother's grave. And now everything was different and new and Simon felt his heart grow heavy at the thought of how much had changed since he'd been gone. 

So he'd decided to at least peek in through the window, the one to his old room, just to make his peace with it all, when he heard it. 

A voice. 

Not just a voice but a story.

"And so Simon summoned his sword and challenged the Humdrum to a duel," the voice said. Simon paused, deciding that it would be too dangerous to actually look inside. He realized that the person, whoever it was, was talking about him. About his adventures in Neverland. He hadn't realized that people knew who he was. Back when he'd first found Neverland, he came back to London almost every week because he wanted to see his school friends and his old girlfriend, Agatha. He told everyone about his adventures and about Penny and all of the fun things they did together. But everyone thought that he was just some sort of brilliant story-teller. That it was all a lie. It was why his girlfriend had broken up with him. It was why he stopped coming back.

"And then what? Did he win, Baz?" another voice asked. 

Simon wanted to argue that his victory should ever have been a question. He always won. 

"Of course he did, Mordelia. Simon Snow always wins. Good conquers evil and all that. But you have to sleep now, little puff. We can finish the story tomorrow."

So, after that night, Simon always went back when he could. The stories weren't always about him (though they usually were) but he enjoyed them nonetheless. The storyteller, whoever it was, had a voice that sent shivers down Simon's spine. That made him so invested in the story that he nearly forgot that he was, in fact, flying and therefore needed to maintain some kind of concentration if he didn't want to go hurdling towards the ground. And, even when he wasn't hovering outside the window, he was retelling the stories to Penny. 

As time went on, the stories became more infrequent. He would go to the house, creep outside the window, and listen in, but the stories would never come. Sometimes he heard yelling from the depths of the house, then the storyteller would enter the room, closing the door with a slam. 

"You need to stop filling her head with that––that nonsense, Basilton. Simon Snow is nothing more than a fantasy. A story your mother told you to put you to sleep when you wouldn't shut up. He's not real."

"He's real to me!" the storyteller, Basilton, presumably, had argued. "And she's a child. She's supposed to hear stories like that to help her become creative and optimistic."

"Yes, but you talk about Neverland like it's a real place! Like Simon Snow is taking you on mad adventures every other night. I've had to seal her window closed. She kept leaving it open during the night, sleeping right up against it, just so that Simon bloody Snow would know that he was allowed to come in and bring her on an adventure! I'm sick of it, Baz. You are early eighteen. You need to grow up."

The yelling guy, who Simon assumed was Basilton's father, slammed the door behind him on his way out. Basilton screamed in frustration and Simon heard him knock some things over. Then he came to the window, perching himself on the little window seat, and sighed to the night sky. And, unknowingly, to Simon. 

"I'm sorry," he said. It sounded like he was crying. Simon wanted to help him, but he didn't know how.

"I can't believe in you anymore."

Did he know that Simon was there?

"My father says I need to grow up and...fuck. I don't want to grow up if it means that I have to be anything like him. I just want...I would have let you in, Simon. If you'd ever knocked on my window. I would have run off to Neverland with you and just..."

He never finished that thought. Instead he went back into his room and closed the window.

It was the first time that he had ever done that. 

And he never told a story again after that. Simon went back but the window was always shut and the room was silent. It had been three months since Basilton told his last story. Three months since Simon had heard him laugh or say something that wasn't serious. And Simon...well, he wasn't having any of it. 

If Baz didn't want to grow up, Simon could take him away. Take him to Neverland. He could join up with him and Penny to fight the Humdrum, play with fairies, swim with mermaids. Be free of all of the bullshit that came with adulthood. But Baz said that he didn't want that anymore. That he didn't believe in Simon anymore. So Simon always stayed outside and listened to the suffocating silence from Basilton's dimly-lit room. He sat on the roof for hours and hours just thinking about what he might say to the boy if he ever got the nerve to knock on his window and offer him the chance to escape. 

And, in all of the times he'd dreamed about meeting Basilton, none of them had ever been because his fucking shadow somehow made its way into his bedroom.


	2. Shadow in the Night

Baz is having a dreamless sleep. 

All of his sleeps are dreamless, these days.

They used to be filled with adventure. More often than not, they were dreams of Simon Snow coming in through the window and taking Baz away to Neverland to just...have fun. Also more often than not, those dreams ended with Simon sweeping Baz into this amazing kiss after they defeated the bad guy. And Baz really liked those dreams because he thought they could be true. 

But he didn't have them anymore.

So, Baz is having another dreamless sleep when he hears something fumbling around in his room. He hears something getting knocked over and then a subtle, "shit." His eyes snap open, half-expecting to find his aunt Fiona looking for his hidden whiskey or something, but all he can make out is a shape. 

And it's certainly not Fiona. 

He turns on the lamp by his bed, squinting as he tries to see who it is before the room is flooded with the light from the lamp. 

It's a boy. 

Not just a boy––a boy dressed in a strange, leafy tunic with green tights and brown shoes. A boy with a mess of golden curls that sit like a wild nest on his head. For a moment, Baz thinks that it's actually Simon Snow and that he's here to take Baz off to Neverland––to help him escape from his cruel reality. But he knows, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Simon Snow isn't real and that he isn't actually in Baz's bedroom at some ungodly hour dressed in a strange outfit. Plus, if Simon Snow was actually real, there is certainly no way that, of all of the windows to stumble into, he'd stumble into Baz's.

"Fucking hell," the boy mutters, holding something in his hands. He's trying, Baz realized, to shove whatever it is into his pockets. 

"What are you doing?" Baz asks against his better judgement. 

The boy turns to face him and Baz nearly passes out. 

He's so beautiful. His eyes are blue and his face is littered with little moles and freckles. He looks shocked that Baz noticed him in the first place, which makes Baz want to snap at him for being so loud. Instead, they just stare at each other. The boy's mouth hangs open in awe and there's some glint in his eyes that Baz can't really place. 

"Basilton?"

Baz raises an eyebrow. "How do you know my name?"

The boy grins at him but makes no move to get any closer. He's still struggling with putting whatever he's holding into his pocket. 

"I heard your dad call you that once. It's a weird name."

"You're quite rude."

The boy furrows his brow and bites his lip. "Oh, sorry. I'll just be...I'll leave." 

Baz thinks, for a second, that leaving is exactly what this random person should do, but he can't bring himself to find the words. "Stay," he says instead. "I mean, at least tell me what the fuck you're doing in my room in the middle of the bloody night." 

The boy blushes. "I, well, I was looking for my shadow."

"Your shadow?"

The boy nods and approaches Baz, holding out his hand to show him what he's been wrestling with. It looks like stockings at first, like black tights, but Baz sees it move so he figures that it can't be stockings. He also sees that it's in the shape of the boy in front of him so, weirdly, it must be his shadow. He can't believe this.

"How does one manage lose their shadow?"

The boy shrugs. "Dunno. Happens all the time to me. Little bugger."

"Right. So, uh, do you need help with it? How do you get it back on?"

The boy looks around the room. "Do you have a needle and thread or something? That should do it. Just sew it back on, yeah?"

Baz stares at him for a moment, still totally confused, and then gets out of bed to go and find the sewing kit he uses for buttons. He realizes, once he's returning with the sewing needle and thread, that he's shirtless and in nothing but his boxers. And the boy is staring at him. Not only is he staring, he starts to run his fingers up and down Baz's bare chest. Baz slaps his hands off. 

"Do you have any manners? 

The boy frowns. "Oh, sorry. I just...wow, you're so pretty. I never really get to see people, you know, so I just...wow."

Baz tries to fight the blush creeping up his cheeks and instead gestures for the boy to sit on the bed so he can sew his shadow back on. 

"Why don't you see people? Are you an escapee from some kind of mental institution?"

"Don't even know what that is. And no, I'm not. Why'd you stop telling stories?"

Baz freezes and looks up at him. "What?"

"You used to tell them all the time, you know. And you were so good at it! And then you stopped. Why? Do you not like stories anymore?"

"How could you possibly know that I used to tell stories?"

The boy laughs and rolls his eyes. Baz starts working on his other foot. 

"Because I used to listen to you all the time. I liked the Simon Snow ones a lot."

Baz rolls his eyes. "I don't tell stories anymore because there's no point. Because, no matter how much I wish for it, Simon Snow isn't going to come save me any time soon."

"D'you wanna be saved?"

Baz raises an eyebrow at him. "Doesn't everyone? What kind of question is that? Are you some kind of idiot?"

"Now who's being rude?"

Baz can't decide if he wants to punch or kiss him. And he doesn't even know his name. 

"What's your name, then?"

The boy runs his fingers through his hair. "Don't think you'd believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

The boy grins. "Simon."

Baz finishes the second shoe and ties a good knot to keep it in place. "That's a common name. And you're good to go."

Simon grins and leaps off the bed, bounding over to the wall to admire his shadow. Baz follows him, still keeping a safe distance, and watches him with amusement. He really is the most interesting person Baz has ever met.

"Thanks, Basilton!"

"Please, call me Baz. And you still haven't told me why you thought your name would be so unbelievable." 

Simon turns to face him, still grinning like an idiot. "Simon Snow. That's my name."

Baz stumbles backwards, shaking his head. "No," he says. "That's impossible. He's not...you're not..."

Simon follows him until Baz is pressed up against the door, the knob digging into his back. 

"Not what, Baz?"

Their faces are so close now. Baz could kiss him, if he wanted to. He could just lean a little bit and kiss him. He thinks he might since this is obviously a dream. A very realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless. 

"Real," Baz whispers. And he hates himself for saying it. For admitting it, out loud, for the first time. 

Simon looks offended. He takes a step back and runs his hand through his curls. "I am, Baz. I swear it."

Baz folds his arms across his chest. "Right then. So why don't you prove it?"

Simon sticks his chin out. "Did my shadow nonsense not prove it enough?"

Baz shakes his head.

Simon groans and starts sprinting towards the window. Baz sprints after him, watching in horror as Simon leaps up onto the windowsill. He turns around, perched on it, and grins before falling out of the window. Baz is freaking out wondering if he's going to get in trouble when the police find a dead body outside his window. Should he move it? Should he cover it up somehow? He starts pacing nervously as he thinks through how much trouble he could get into for this mess. 

"Thought you wanted proof?"

Baz whips his head around and sees Simon at the window, his elbows on the sill holding his head up on his palms. Baz looks out behind him and sees Simon's feet in the air. It looks like he's lying on his stomach only there's nothing underneath him to support him. Just...air. Baz can't help but gasp. 

"Fucking hell," he mumbles, gawking at the sight of it. "You're...you're fucking flying!"

Simon giggles and points a finger at him. "Told ya! Believe me now, Baz?"

Baz thinks that he's going to have a heart attack. 

All those years of wanting Simon Snow to be real, of wishing for him to come take Baz off to Neverland...it was all real. Simon Snow has always been out there, listening to the stories Baz tells about him, apparently. (He realizes that he should be embarrassed about that). And now Simon is here in front of him flying and totally gorgeous. And Baz thinks he might die. And he never wants this dream to end. 

"I should probably head back home," Simon says. "Well, I should find Penny, anyway. She's probably in a bookshop or something." He turns to leave but Baz grabs his hand. 

"No," he demands. "You can't––don't leave me. Please."

Simon grins at him. "You wanna come with?"

Baz is about to reply when another voice comes from outside somewhere.

"Simon? Simon, I swear to god if you're lurking at Basilton's window again I will––"

It's a fairy.

A tiny, little person with wings. She's got on a little green dress and her hair, which is purple, is in a messy bun on the top of her tiny head. And she's got glasses. The kind of glasses that Baz has seen Mordelia use for her little dolls. She stops talking immediately when she sees Baz.

"Pen, this is Baz," Simon says to her, gesturing to Baz. 

Baz is speechless. 

"Simon, you can't just––"

"He's gonna need some pixie dust. Y'know, for the journey."

The little fairy, Penny, crosses her arms and glares at Simon. "For the last time," she huffs, "I am not a bloody pixie! Do you know insulting that is? And he is not coming with us."

Simon frowns at her. "Come on, it'll be fun! We haven't had someone else to play with in ages. It'll be nice. He wants to come, anyway. Right, Baz?"

Baz blinks, his brain still trying to process all of this. "I––where are we going?"

"To Neverland, of course."


	3. Soaring

Simon is having a lot of fun watching Baz pace around his room muttering to himself. He seems to be going through a list in his head of pros and cons for going to Neverland. Penny, who is sitting next to Simon on the window sill, is not pleased about this situation, but she's given up trying to fight with Simon about it. Simon's got his legs inside now because the whole floating outside the window thing was making Baz extremely nervous. 

"You can't force him to come," Penny says.

Simon sighs. "I know. I won't. I just...I really hope he does." 

Baz looks back at them and stares for a moment before he clears his throat and walks towards them. Simon finds himself sitting up a bit straighter in anticipation. 

"I'll come. Is there...do I need to bring anything? Toothbrush? Change of clothes?"

Simon shrugs. "Whatever you need. Pack light, though. It'll slow you down if you've got big bags."

Baz frowns at him. "Slow me down?"

"Yeah, when you're flying. Too much drag."

Penny hums in agreement. "Simon always complains about the drag when I make him carry books back for me."

"I'm sorry, I'm confused. We...we're flying there?"

Simon looks at him with a knowing grin on his face. "Come on, Baz, you know the story! Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning, yeah?"

Baz's face pales. Simon starts getting nervous that Baz will change his mind. He really, really wants Baz to come with him. He wants to show him all of his favorite spots. He's never been able to show anyone around before. 

"R––right. Okay. Just...I'll get some things together, okay?"

Simon nods and watches as Baz gets a backpack and starts filling it with clothes and other random things. He notices Baz take something off his bedside table, a small boxy thing. Simon is at his side in an instant. 

"What's that?" 

Baz raises an eyebrow and looks down at the object in his hand. "Are you joking?"

Simon shakes his head. He usually is joking, but not now. 

"It's a mobile, Simon. A cell phone?"

Simon sighs and shrugs, uninterested. A part of him wishes that he was more involved in normal life. That he had been around to watch things change slowly instead of being thrown into a whole new world at one time. When had the horses been put inside of the carriages? Why did Baz have a bunch of wire things by his bed coming from the wall? When did the lights become magical? He has so many questions but he isn't sure if he wants the answer to them. He thinks about how long he's been gone, but time passes differently in Neverland somehow. It moves faster because he's always having so much fun, but that isn't how he remembers time moving here in London. It was always so much slower in London. And people age right before your eyes. And new things happen all the time. 

He doesn't want to know how long he's been in Neverland. That's the whole point of Neverland. If you're never going to grow up and have responsibilities, what's the point in keeping track of the day or month or year? It snows sometimes and then it gets hot, but that's about all Simon's had to go off of there. Penny might have an idea of it because she likes to keep track of things like that, but he's never wanted to ask her. He knows when he was born––June of 1885––so what does the rest matter if it's just going to make him sad? 

"I'm ready. How does it work?"

Simon gestures to Penny who flies over Baz and sprinkles some of her fairy dust on him. Her's is purple, like her hair, but Simon has seen other fairies who have dust of all sorts of colors. He likes Penny's best, though. It feels and smells really nice, too. Like a sage-y hug. 

Baz squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his fists by his side. Simon watches him for a moment, trying not to laugh at him. 

"Am I flying?" 

Simon does laugh at that. "No, you have to think of a wonderful thought. Something that makes you happy. Like, really happy."

Baz frowns. "I...is it weird if I think of you and Neverland?"

Simon chuckles. "I think about your stories, sometimes, so no."

Baz grins at him and suddenly his feet aren't touching the ground anymore. Simon squeals in excitement as he watches Baz get used to the feeling of flying. He watches him rise in the air a bit then come back down.

"Ready?"

Baz nods.

They follow Penny to the window, watching her fly off into the night. Simon is half out the window himself when he feels a tug on his hand. He turns back around and sees Baz looking at the window like it might bite him. 

"You okay?"

Baz nods. "Just...can you hold my hand? I'm kind of terrified."

Simon grins and gives his hand a squeeze. "Course."

It doesn't take Baz long to get the hang of it, but he still holds onto Simon's hand as they soar above the London skyline. Simon looks at him every few moments to make sure he's okay, and every time he sees him he's got a huge grin on his face and the wind sweeping through his long hair. It makes something inside of Simon bubble with excitement and warmth. He's never felt a feeling like this before. 

"I was nervous the first time I flew," Simon says after a few minutes. 

"Really?"

Simon nods. "Yeah. I mean, it was all so new to me."

"How did you end up in Neverland?"

Simon grins again. He's never really been able to tell anyone about his life story. Most people, the mermaids, especially, just want to hear about his adventures. They want to hear all of the heroic stuff like about the time he had to save that princess from the Humdrum and his crew or the time that he had to escape a werewolf den. No one's asked him about his life before. Or about him as a person. He hasn't really put much thought into it, honestly. 

"I was seventeen and my father was...he was still grieving, I guess. In his way. Which meant a lot of alcohol and yelling and fists. I remember wanting to run away but not knowing where to go. All I knew was that I didn't want to grow up and become anything like him."

Baz squeezes his hand. 

"I was living in Hyde Park for a bit. Thought it was fitting since I was hiding or whatever. One night, it was really cold and raining buckets and Penny found me crying on a bench. She'd been going to London to get some books and said she felt my sadness. I told her everything and I think she was just so relieved that I wasn't like, weirded out by her that she decided to take me back to Neverland with her."

"What was your life like before?"

Sometimes, Simon forgets what his life was like before Neverland. Before he was The Simon Snow. Vaguely, he thinks that he might have been actively blocking out that part of his life. Or maybe too much time has passed for him to really recall anything specific, but it's always there in fragments in the back of his mind. His old life. His courtship with Agatha. His father's drinking and their old house. And Simon has never really wanted to tell anyone about it because it feels like that was all from another life or someone else entirely, but he wants to tell Baz. He wants to tell Baz because he knows that Baz cares about him as a person and not just as a story.

"My mother died in childbirth," he starts. "So it was just me and my father. We didn't have a lot of money because he lost his job, but we still had my mother's family home. It's actually where you live. That's how I found you. I went back looking for him but I guess too much time had passed. I found you in my old room."

Baz grins at him. "I can't believe I've been living in your old room my whole life."

Simon grins back at him. "No wonder you're so obsessed with me."

"I'm not obsessed." He sighs. 

Simon notes that he looks so lovely right now with his hair being pushed up by the wind. 

"My mother used to tell me stories of you. Every night before bed. I would get so excited to sleep because it meant another story."

"How'd she know about me? I didn't think I was, like, a character."

Baz stares at him. "Are you kidding, Simon?"

Simon furrows his brow. "What?"

"You have a bloody book."

Simon freezes, making Baz pause mid-air too. He never knew that there was a book about him. Surely Penny would have mentioned it. Why didn't Penny mention it? With all the time she spent in bookshops, she clearly had to have seen it. Although, maybe it wasn't a popular book. 

"Is it any good?" He starts moving again.

Baz shrugs. "I like the play better."

Simon's eyes widen. "I have a play?"

Baz laughs. "Yes, you idiot. You have a play. The play was first, actually."

"Do you know who wrote it?"

"Uh, James Matthew Barrie, I believe."

Simon groans. "That twat? Christ, of course he'd get all the fucking glory."

"You knew him?"

"Yeah. He was always super into the girl I was courting."

"Courting?"

"Yeah, you know, like to marry?"

Baz frowns at him. "Simon, how old are you?"

"Seventeen."

"No, I mean, when were you born?"

Simon doesn't want to have this conversation. Instead, he lets go of Baz's hand and starts to show him some tricks he's picked up over the years. Some flips and turns. Something to distract Baz from that question. It works because Baz smiles at him and attempts his own turn and then the two of them are laughing again.

Simon hates it when people aren't smiling or laughing. After all, isn't laughter part of the fun of not growing up?


	4. Cannon Balls and Clouds

Baz wasn't really sure what to expect of Neverland, but when it comes into view, his breath is knocked right out of him. It's a gorgeous island with mountains and waterfalls and lagoons. There's a rainbow running across the skyline because, he supposes, why shouldn't there be a fucking rainbow in paradise? 

Simon stops him on a cloud, giving him a moment to let it all sink in. Including the whole standing on a fucking cloud bit, too, because that is certainly a strange sensation. 

"I can't believe you get to live here," Baz says, breathless.

Simon grins at him again and puts his hands on his hips. "I know, right?"

Simon starts pointing out the different important places that they can see from up so high. He shows Baz where the mermaid lagoon is, where the native tribe live, where the fairies (who aren't Penelope) live and where he lives. Baz takes out his mobile to snap a picture of it and he can feel Simon's eyes on him and the device but he doesn't say anything about it. Baz feels a bit bad for asking him when he was born because that was obviously a sore subject, though Baz can't imagine why, so he decides not to press him. If Simon wants to know how phones work, Baz is more than happy to explain.

He's about to ask Simon to get a picture of him when something rips through the cloud next to them with a terrifying whoosh. Baz gasps and sees a whole torn straight through the cloud.

"What the fuck was that?"

Simon grits his teeth and points down below where there seems to be a massive pirate ship anchored in the harbor. "That's the Humdrum's ship."

Simon's getting his blade out while Baz tries to figure that out. 

"Wait, he's a pirate?"

Simon looks at him like he's an extra special idiot. "Yeah, didn't you know that?"

Baz rolls his eyes. "Yeah, well, I thought it might've been added in for the drama of it. I didn't know that pirates were a real thing! You've been fighting an adult who's launching cannon balls at you? You're seventeen!"

"And?"

Baz wants to shake him and make him understand how fucking weird that is. "And you're seventeen! You're a child. And he's a grown-up with scary weapons."

Simon shrugs and flashes him a grin. "Wanna go on an adventure?"

A minute later, Baz realizes that he does not want to go on this particular adventure. Simon weaves him through the sky as cannon balls keep coming up to try and intercept them. He's cool about it, but Baz is freaking the fuck out. In his head he always thought the adventures were more along the lines of finding buried treasure or something. It made sense for stories because having a seventeen year old kid fighting and repeatedly beating an old pirate sounds awesome, but he didn't really think that would be the reality of the situation. And Simon doesn't seem to care much about it. In fact, given the smile on his face, he looks like he's enjoying it. Baz wishes that he could enjoy it, too, but he can't because he's still to focused on the fact that there is a middle-aged man shooting fucking painful balls at a kid. 

He's a little too wrapped up in his thoughts of this to notice a tree branch coming right for him as Simon takes him down towards the ground, so Baz ends up losing his concentration and hurdling towards a collection of very sharp looking rocks on the ground below. He screams and closes his eyes, bracing for impact, when he feels the falling stop. He peeks an eye open and sees that Simon has caught him right in the nick of time, holding Baz in his arms like Baz is his bride.

Simon lands on the rocks and sets Baz down on the ground. His heart is beating wildly in his chest.

"T––thanks," Baz says.

Simon smiles at him. "Yeah, no problem. Did you have fun?"

Baz glares at him. "What, with the cannon balls? No, Simon. I did not have fun."

"You get used to it."

"I don't think I want to get used to that."

Simon shrugs and puts his blade away (wherever it goes). He has a dagger, too, that's clipped into a little leather belt around his waist, but Baz has always heard that he prefers the magical blade. 

"How does your sword work? Do you have magical powers or something?"

Simon is walking somewhere so Baz makes an effort to keep close to him just in case any more tree branches feel like presenting themselves. 

"I can fly, can't I?"

Baz rolls his eyes. They're going deeper into the forest. Baz wonders if he should be scared. 

"No, I don't have like magic or anything. The sword thing was a total accident. Saved someone's life, that someone turned out to be a wizard, so now I can summon this blade whenever I want. Pretty wicked, yeah?"

"Do you normally just randomly save lives? Or is that something you have to schedule in weeks in advance?"

Simon chuckles. "I don't schedule anything ever, so it just kinda happens. Don't know if you've heard, but I'm kind of a hero."

"To some."

Simon stops walking and turns around. "What? Who am I not a hero to?"

"Parents, mostly."

Simon rolls his eyes and carries on walking again. "The parents can piss off. Why don't they like me?"

"Because you're not––" Baz stops himself. "Because they don't think you're real. And your whole thing is avoiding responsibility and growing up and––"

"I'm not avoiding anything," Simon snaps, turning again.

Baz can feel his heart beating into his throat. He never really thought of Simon as having so many random triggers. First the age thing and now this? Baz wonders what kinds of things go on in his head. 

"I know. I'm just telling you what they think."

"Well. They're wrong."

"I agree. I happen to think that you represent something positive. Innocence and child-like wonder. Though, considering the whole pirate thing, I might have to rethink the innocence bit."

Simon laughs again and gestures to a large tree. He looks very pleased about it, but Baz has no idea what he's on about. 

"It's...a tree?"

Simon's grin falls. Baz instantly hates himself. 

"It's my house, you prick."

Baz nods, mostly to himself, and follows Simon again as he approaches the tree. "Right. So you just...live in a tree. Right."

Simon pushes one of the tree knobs and there's a whirring noise as a door opens in the trunk of it. "I live under the tree. This is just my secret entrance." 

Simon enters the tree and is suddenly gone from view. Baz starts to panic a bit before he peers down and sees a slide that goes deep under the earth. He gets down and lets the slide take him to wherever Simon went off to. He registers that a slide is incredibly impractical (he also wonders how you exit the house thing) but he lets himself enjoy the twisting ride down the slide. He lands on a carpet on a solid floor with a soft thud. 

He's surprised to see that the space is neat and tidy and that it's actually quite large. Simon's bed is in the middle of the room and the blanket is some kind of dark fur that Baz doesn't recognize. There's a big couch sitting across from a stone fireplace. And there are bookshelves lining the walls which are presumably Penny's, and then there's a little doorway that leads to a smaller area that has another fire place and a table and a chair. In all this, Baz can't seem to find Simon.

"Yeah, just the Humdrum being his usual pissy self," he hears Simon say. He finds a staircase hidden in the corner of the room and walks up it to find Simon sitting in a big, comfy chair talking to Penelope. He grins at Baz when he enters. 

"Hey. You hungry or anything? Or I could make some tea?"

Baz shakes his head. "I'm fine, thanks. I––your house is actually very nice. For being underground and all."

Penny frowns at him. "What's wrong with being underground?"

Baz's eyes widen. "Er, nothing. It was supposed to be a joke. It really is a lovely home."

"She's just being difficult," Simon says. "She's jealous."

"I am not jealous!" she argues. 

Baz wants to ask why she would be jealous but he doesn't. But he can't ignore that feeling in his stomach that comes whenever he looks at Simon. He'd ignored it at first when he thought it was a dream, but now he's feeling it and allowing himself to think about it. He wonders if part of the reason he always loved the Simon Snow stories was because he had a crush on him. He had kissed Simon in dreams before, but he also had no idea what he looked like. His mind always just put some random attractive guy's face on him. And his personality was nothing like what Baz had expected. So, if he did have a crush on Simon Snow from the stories, it certainly meant nothing now. Because Simon, the real one, was so different. He's kinder, funnier, a bit of a mess but in an endearing sort of way, and devilishly handsome. In Baz's head he'd always been some kind of noble hero with a posh accent and a strong jaw that goes around saving damsels all the time.

But Simon is...well, he is just a boy. A very attractive boy, but just a boy. He isn't some god among men. He's a boy who'd escaped to a magical world in an attempt to run away from his problems and the issue of growing up. And Baz understands that. And he is incredibly jealous. 

"Should I show you around? Is there anything you wanna see?"

Baz thinks about it for a moment. "Um, the mermaids, perhaps? It'd be cool to get some photos."

"You're taking photos?"

Baz nods. 

"Okay, well, obviously don't like go and print them and sell 'em to the paper or whatever. But yeah, sounds good."


	5. The Importance of Being a Hero

Simon has always thoroughly enjoyed the company of the mermaids. Ever since he first stumbled across them, they've always been very sweet to him. They listen to his stories and make him pretty gifts out of objects from the sea. Penny has never really gotten on with the mermaids (because she finds them stupid) so Simon always goes alone. He isn't really sure how they'll react to Baz since they've never met another human (that Simon knows of, anyway) but he thinks it'll be great fun. Baz is excited, too. On the way over, Baz couldn't stop grinning at Simon like he was having the time of his life.

"Hello, girls!" Simon calls as they approach.

The mermaids stop talking and look up at him with smiles on their faces, tails waving him over. He grins and takes Baz's hand to help guide him to the collection of rocks that the girls like to sit on to sunbathe. Almost immediately, he and Baz are torn away from each other. One group of girls start to shower Simon in kisses and playful tugs on his hair while the other group starts to try and tug Baz into the water. 

"Where have you been, Simon? It's been too long," one of them complains. She has blonde hair and a pink tail. Simon has asked them from their names multiple times but they always just laugh at him. He's started to remember them by hair and tail color, now. 

"I know, I know. I've had a lot going on. Where's Baz?" He looks around for the dark-haired boy but he can't find him anywhere. 

"Baz?" he asks again, glaring at the girls. Sometimes they can get a little carried away with their games, so Simon starts to worry that they've tried to pull Baz into whatever activity they're doing now. 

He hears a splash and turns to find Baz in the water, gasping for air as one of the girls dunks him. He's off his feet in instant, leaping through the air to help Baz out of the water. He dives down, shoving the girl out of his way, and gets Baz into his arms before emerging from the water. Baz coughs and sputters as the air hits his lungs and he can breathe again. He clings to Simon, his hands around his neck and his face buried in Simon's chest, as Simon brings them back over to the main rock. 

"Girls, that wasn't very nice," he scolds, allowing Baz to keep holding onto him. Simon really doesn't mind it––it feels quite nice, actually. 

One of the girls, the ginger one with a purple tail, rolls her eyes and moves some hair over her shoulder. "We were only trying to swim with him."

Simon knows that's a lie but he doesn't say anything to her. "You okay there, Baz?" he asks the boy in his arms. 

Baz nods and pushes himself out of Simon's arms. "Fine. Just...why don't they like me?"

Simon shrugs and sits down on the top of the rock. Baz follows suit. 

"This is Baz," he says, gesturing to Baz on his right. "Baz, these are the girls."

He waves an unenthused wave at the girls who blink back at him, clearly not happy that Simon brought him here. 

"Simon, did you miss us?"

The mermaids are on him again, peppering his face with little kisses. He looks over at Baz who has turned away from them, certainly not enjoying the attention they're giving Simon. Simon feels his heart grow heavy in his chest at the thought of Baz not having a good time. That simply won't do. Not in Neverland. 

Simon nudges Baz's shoulder with his own and shoots him a nervous smile but Baz just rolls his eyes. 

"Hey, you okay?" 

Baz sighs. "They were trying to drown me, Simon. If you think––"

Suddenly, a shadow draws over the lagoon, turning everything dark. Simon puts his hand over Baz's mouth, trying to silence him so he can figure out what's going on. Simon pulls it away after a moment and raises a finger to his lips, telling Baz to be quiet. Baz nods in understanding as Simon flies over towards a moss-covered rock that juts out of the water, using a hole in the rock to see what's going on. Through the hole he sees the Humdrum and his right hand man on a small boat with girl. He strains his eyes to see that the girl is tied up and that she is Princess Philippa from one of the native tribes up north. 

He turns back to face the girls and Baz. "It's the Humdrum," he explains. 

The girls look to each other in panic before diving back into the water to get away from him. He flies over to Baz and grabs his hand so he can bring him over to the rock to get a good look at the men on the boat. 

"They've captured Philippa," Simon explains as Baz watches the boat row past them on the water. "Looks like they're headed for Skull Rock. Come on, Baz." 

He takes Baz's hand again and they fly off to follow the boat.

Skull Rock is a giant rock with a cave inside. Simon has always wondered how it came to be, but he knows that there are more important matters at hand now. He takes Baz up through one of the stony holes that resembles an eye socket and perches on a rock overhead the bottom of the cave. He watches intently as the Humdrum sets the princess down on a rock in the water.

"You tell me the hiding place of Simon Snow, and I shall set you free," the Humdrum says.

Simon knows that it's a lie, that the Humdrum would never set her free even after she's given him the information. Simon instinctively calls for his sword and holds it at the ready as he glares down at the scene before him. 

"Am I not a man of me word, Mr. Mage?" the Humdrum asks, turning towards his little helpmate. 

"Uh, yes. Always, Captain," the helpmate replies with a giggle. 

The Humdrum grins at him and turns back towards the princess. "You'd better talk, my dear. Or soon the tide will be in and then it will be too late."

Simon stands, gritting his teeth. "That fucker," he says, putting his sword away with the slight twitch of his wrist. He turns to face Baz. "Stay here. Watch the fun!"

Baz opens his mouth to say something, but Simon is already off like a rocket. He flies in the shadows as to not be seen by the Humdrum, and makes his way to the mouth of the cave. He cups his hands over his mouth and deepens his voice.

"I am the great spirit of the might sea waters," he booms, his voice echoing eerily through the cave. He moves around, his hands still cupped over his mouth. "Beware, Humdrum, beware!" He waits for a moment, unable to hear whatever is happening deep within the cave, and grins when he hears the Humdrum's unmistakeable boots tap against the rock as he approaches Simon. He sees the Humdrum come around towards him, so he uses a rock as cover and goes the other way and back into the cave. He flies back up towards Baz with a grin on his face. 

"Psst, Baz," he whispers, "watch this!"

He flies back down a bit, still hidden in the shadows, and clears his throat. "Mr. Mage," he says in his best Humdrum impression. He sees Baz laugh quietly.

"Uh, yes, Cap'n?"

Simon holds back his own laughter. "Release the princess and take her back to her people."

Mr. Mage grins and salutes the invisible voice. "Aye, aye, sir. Release the––but, but––"

"Those are me orders, Mr. Mage!" Simon yells, getting a bit closer. 

Mr. Mage gets to work so Simon looks up at Baz and grins at him. Baz grins back. Mr. Mage gets the princess back on board and starts rowing out of the cave and Simon can't help but think about how easy it is to fool these idiots. He's about to start moving towards Baz again when Mr. Mage comes careening back in at alarming speed and starts putting the princess back in the already rising water. 

"What do you think you are doing?" Simon asks, still using his Humdrum voice. 

"Putting her back like you said, Cap'n!"

"I said nothing of the sort!" Simon says. 

Mr. Mage starts to protest but Simon cuts him off.

"For the last time, Mr. Mage, take the princess back to her people. Understand?"

"Aye aye, sir," Mr. Mage says, clearly terrified of what might happen if he disobeys his captain's orders. Simon almost feels a little bit bad for him, because he really is an idiot, but he brushes it off. He just hopes that Baz is finding this entertaining. 

"Oh, and one more thing," Simon continues, "when you return to the ship, tell the whole crew to help themselves to me best rum."

He closes his eyes and leans back, very pleased with his handiwork. 

"Simon!" Baz shouts. 

His eyes spring open and he feels the Humdrum right on top of him. He just has enough time to duck out of the way as the Humdrum's sword crashes down, just missing his head and hitting the rock instead. Simon flies around in a circle above Mr. Mage. 

"Why, it's Simon Snow," Mr. Mage marvels, staring up at Simon in wonder. He soars up right past the Humdrum and shoots him a smile. 

"Scurvy brat," the Humdrum growls. 

Simon bows to him playfully in the air. "Thank you, Captain."

The Humdrum shakes his fist at him. "Come down, boy, and have a taste of cold steel!"

Simon grins, never one to back away from a challenge, and soars up to Baz. "Watch this, Baz!"

"Be careful, Simon," he warns, that smile still on his face, though. 

Simon flies back down towards the Humdrum and his sword. He steps on the sword, putting all of his weight on it, and soars off again, leaving the Humdrum to deal with the aftershocks as the blade trembles in his hands. While the Humdrum deals with that, Simon flies down towards Mr. Mage and pulls his ridiculous hat down over his head, then goes back up to taunt the Humdrum. The Humdrum takes a few swings at him but they never land. Instead, Simon grabs the Humdrum's gun from his belt and delivers it to Mr. Mage.

"Wanna try your luck?" he asks, giving Mr. Mage the small, gold weapon. 

He knows it probably isn't the smartest thing to do, but he wants to impress Baz. He wants Baz to see him for the hero he's always thought he was. He flies up towards the top of the cave and flies in lazy circles, just to watch Mr. Mage fumble around to try and line up his shot. Simon decides to really try his luck and hover right in front of the Humdrum, giving Mr. Mage the perfect shot. 

Thankfully, Mr. Mage is too slow to aim so Simon has enough time to duck out of the way when the bullet comes speeding toward him. The shot lands somewhere behind Simon and the Humdrum screams and falls off the rock and into the shadowy depths below. The Humdrum's ridiculous pirate hat lands on the rock, so Simon scoops it up and holds it over his heart. 

He wonders, in the back of his mind, if he's finally won. If the Humdrum is dead. If he is dead, Simon doesn't really know what he'll do with himself. After all, playing these ridiculous games with the pirates is most of his fun around here. 

"What a pity, Mr. Mage," he sighs as he floats down and lands on a rock. "I'm afraid we've lost the dear Captain Humdrum."

Still grinning with his temporary win, Simon puts the pirate hat on and grins up at Baz. Even if the Humdrum is dead, it'll have been worth it if Baz enjoyed watching it all unfold. 

"Cap'n!" Mr. Mage shouts from below. 

Simon turns to find the Humdrum right behind him, his sword nearly on Simon's back. "Oh, that captain?"

The Humdrum attacks but Simon manages to duck. His heart his beating in his ears. It never really mattered if he lost before because Penny would've been the only one he would have left behind, but now he's got Baz to lose, too. But the Simon Snow that Baz knows doesn't get scared or worry that each fight might be his last, so Simon slaps on a grin and summons his blade. He holds it up and the Humdrum swings at him again. Simon manages to block the attack with his own sword.

The Humdrum goes for his leg so Simon has to leap into the air and shoot his arm down at his leg to defend the attack. They go on sparring for a bit, neither one really trying to land a fatal blow. The Humdrum gives up on those simple attacks and takes a giant swing at Simon's head, but he manages to leap up, using his ability to fly to get the upper hand. He pulls at the Humdrum's hair which causes the Humdrum to cry out and come at Simon with more intensity than before. Simon realizes that these are turning into fatal blows and that he barely has the strength to keep the Humdrum at bay. The Humdrum manages to deliver a strike with so much power that Simon drops his blade. His fingers stumble around the hilt as he manages to grab it just in time to block an attack straight for his head. Using all of his strength, he attempts to push the Humdrum off of him so he can get to his feet again.

The Humdrum charges for him again, their swords locked together, and forces Simon back and off the rock. 

"I've got you this time, Snow," he sneers. Simon just shrugs and gestures to the Humdrum's feet which are no longer on a solid surface. The Humdrum yelps in surprise as he begins to fall. He manages to hold onto the very edge of the rock, his knuckles turning white from the effort. Simon flies over to stand on the edge of the rock so he can look down at his foe. 

"Well well," he grins, "if it isn't the feared Captain Humdrum brought to his knees by a kid in tights."

"I'll get you for his, Snow," the Humdrum swears. "If it's the last thing I do!"

Simon just smiles at him and goes to step on his fingers so he can watch him fall, but then the Humdrum lets go of his own volition and falls into the water below. Simon watches as he swims up to the boat and Mr. Mage, shaking, rows them out.


	6. Damsels and Almost Kisses

Simon is busy crowing at the silhouette of the Humdrum and Mr. Mage to realize that he still hasn't saved Philippa. Baz tugs at his leg, trying to get his attention.

"Simon, what about Philippa?"

Simon looks at him and frowns. "Philippa?" Baz watches him put two and two together. Simon gasps and runs his fingers through his hair. "Oh, shit, Philippa!" He flies off back into the cave. Baz stays where he is and looks out over the water as Simon goes to the girl's aid. He watches the sun as it dips below the sea casting beautiful pink and yellow colors across the shimmery surface. He pulls out his mobile (which is, thankfully, waterproof) and snaps a picture of sunset. Simon emerges from the cave a moment later. He's soaking wet, as is the girl in his arms. Baz feels a pang of jealousy tear through him as he watches Simon pull a loose hair behind Philippa's ear, tucking it back into place. 

Simon must notice Baz's sour expression because he looks at him for a moment and his smile fades. "You alright then, Baz?"

Baz folds his arms across his chest. "You could have died, Simon."

Simon shrugs, the grin returning. "Yeah, but I didn't." 

With one arm wrapped around Philippa, Simon offers the other one to Baz. Baz raises an eyebrow at him in confusion. 

"We've got to return her to her people, yeah?"

Baz takes his hand and they go off. 

"Simon?" Baz asks after a moment. Philippa seems to be unconscious or something because she's not saying anything. "Are you the Humdrum?" 

Simon turns to look at him, confusion and a hint of hurt across his face. "What? Course not." 

Baz wants to believe him, but he also knows what he saw. The Humdrum, or Captain Humdrum, looks almost exactly like Simon. He's older, yes, and a bit dirty and unkempt, but he has Simon's blue eyes and bronze curls. He didn't get a great look at him, but the similarities were pretty striking, even from a distance. He doesn't understand how it would be possible for Simon to be both Simon Snow the hero and Captain Humdrum the villain. If Simon was somehow both of these people, could Baz still like him? Could he allow himself to like a villain? 

He certainly likes Simon. At first he thought it might have just been some sort of fantasy thing, but he can't deny that he is really, really attracted to the strange boy. And Simon isn't really seventeen so it isn't weird or anything. In fact, it sounds like he's years and years older than Baz. And Baz really wants to kiss him. Because he's never kissed anyone before. And because Simon is so alive that Baz feel like he might die just by being in his presence for too long. 

"Why would you even say that, Baz?"

Baz frowns at himself. "You two just look similar, I suppose." 

Simon huffs but doesn't say anything. 

"Why doesn't she speak? Is she unconscious?" Baz asks after a moment. 

Simon furrows his brow at him. "Who, Philippa? Nah. She's just mute. It was an accident when she was a child. A curse from a nasty old witch. I think she was trying to curse me, actually. I've always felt bad about it." 

Baz wants to ask if there's something going on between Simon and Philippa but he decides against it. He doubts that Simon would feel the same way about him, so what would be the point in getting his heart broken? He scolds himself for being so child-like and dramatic about all of this. First the bloody mermaids and now Philippa. He decides he needs to keep his emotions in check. 

"Just letting you know," Simon says after a moment, "they'll probably do a big feast. They always do when I have to save her. It'll be fun though. Dancing and good food and all that." 

Baz hums in agreement. "Are we dressed okay?"

"Yeah, we're heroes. We can dress however we want." 

Baz chuckles at him and Simon squeezes his hand in response. 

"I'm really glad you decided to come," Simon says, his voice a whisper. They're flying over a forest now and Baz feels his stomach sink at the thought of never being able to fly again. 

"Me too," Baz smiles. "You know, I always thought that being here would be amazing. That meeting you would be a dream come true. I didn't realize...I had no idea how much I'd actually like you, though."

Simon flashes him a toothy grin. "Why? What'd you think of me?"

"I don't know. I suppose I thought that you were careless. Which you are, but I didn't realize that you would also be so...nice. And thoughtful. I probably sound like an idiot––"

"No," Simon says, leading them down to the forest floor. He sets Philippa down. "We'll be along in a second, okay?"

She nods and runs off to go tell her father that she's back and that Simon Snow has saved the day once again. 

Simon turns to face Baz, taking both of Baz's hands in his own. "You don't sound like an idiot. I get it, okay? I mean, I spent years going to your house to listen to your stories. I didn't really know anything about you but I knew that I would follow your voice to the ends of the earth. And I ever thought I'd get to meet you. Or that you'd make me feel like this." 

Baz raises an eyebrow at him, fighting the urge to run his fingers through Simon's curls to see if they are as soft as he thinks they are. He wants to forget about the stupid feast and just be with Simon. Just the two of them. He wants Simon to take him somewhere they can lie down and look at the stars together. At the two moons that hang in the sky. He wants to be able to take Simon's hand in his own and feel the calloused skin of his fingers fully intertwined with his. He wants, oh God does he want, to finally kiss Simon. To thank him for saving him even if he has no idea what he's done. 

"Feel like what?" He's whispering now because Simon is so close to him. Because this moment feels like it could break at any moment and Baz wants Simon to stay here with him forever. 

"Like I'm flying," Simon whispers back. "But my feet are on the ground." 

Baz feels like he might be flying right now. His heart is thumping wildly in his chest. He opens his mouth to say something, or maybe to kiss Simon, when a voice cuts through the forest and causes both of them to jump apart. 

"Simon Snow? My boy, I know you're out there! Come and have a feast with us!" the deep voice booms. 

Simon smiles up at Baz sheepishly and tucks a stray hair behind Baz's ear. Baz feels his whole face light up. 

"We're going to talk about this later, okay? Promise," Simon says, still whispering. 

All Baz can do is nod and follow him as he sets off to find the voice and go to the feast. He wonders, though, if Simon really does plan on finishing this conversation later. He seems to bound from one thing to the next, so Baz wonders if this will become merely an afterthought when something else grabs Simon's attention.


	7. Flying

Simon always enjoys these feasts. Back at his place, he doesn't have much food. Penny, being so little, doesn't eat much. But Simon is always hungry. Unfortunately, Neverland doesn't have any kind of marketplace so all of his food are things he's hunted or picked. Usually he has squirrels, oats, nuts, and berries, but the tribespeople always have a decadent display. Pig, stews, drinks, the whole nine yards. So Simon loves the feasts. Honestly, the feasts are the only time that he gets to eat properly. And he's excited to show Baz what these feasts are like. The music and dancing is always great fun, too. 

When they arrive, the feast is already in full swing. The tribespeople are finishing setting the table for it and Simon feels his stomach rumble at the sight of it. Some people are already seated but waiting for the leader to commence the festivities. Since Simon still has a hold of Baz's hand, he gives a squeeze as he shoots him a smile. 

Just as he's about to say something to him, the leader comes up to him with a grin on his face. Simon lets go of Baz's hand so he can shake hands with the leader. He's a tall man, quite broad-shouldered, and he's become Simon's pseudo father figure in Neverland, as was the leader before him and before him. 

"We have great gratitude for your valiance today," the leader says. 

Simon salutes to him. "Thank you, sir. Uh, this is Baz. My friend."

Baz shakes hands with the tribe leader and shoots Simon a strange look that Simon can't place. It sets his insides ablaze, though. Baz keeps doing that. 

"Well, the feast awaits you, Simon. Come and eat with us." 

Simon leads Baz over to the grand table so they can start eating. The tribespeople wait for Simon to sit at the head of the table before the feast commences. He knows this all too well now, having been at these events so many times. He thinks, for a moment, that he should be mildly concerned that Philippa gets kidnapped so often, but he shrugs it off. Just another thing that comes with Neverland, he supposes. 

After a few minutes of catching up with some of the tribespeople, Simon turns back to Baz and smiles at him. He finds his hand under the table and gives it a squeeze, longing to feel the touch of Baz's hand on his own.

"Having fun?"

Baz nods. "The food is, surprisingly, excellent." 

"Right? These people keep me fed."

Baz chuckles. "I'd say. You've already had two helpings."

Simon shrugs at him and takes a bite of the pig. "Fighting works up my appetite."

"I suppose."

The feast carries on for a bit longer, but soon enough, people are up and dancing around the massive bonfire that's been set up in the center of the huts. There's a group of people playing instruments a little bit away from the center of it all. Simon is whisked away to do a customary dance with Philippa, as he always is, but he quickly finds Baz after he's done. He's in a conversation with the leader when Simon tracks him down. 

"Sorry to interrupt," he says, tugging at his hair. "Could I borrow Baz for a moment?" 

The tribe leader nods and goes off to find his daughter, leaving Baz and Simon alone on the outskirts of the event. Simon looks at Baz for a moment and notes how beautiful he looks in the firelight. The way the soft light hits his incredible cheekbones and reflects in his eyes. The way it bounces off his silky hair. 

Simon doesn't think he's ever felt like this before. Even with Agatha back in the day. And, once he got to Neverland, he never really had the need for any kind of romantic entanglement. The only girl he could have ever showed any interest in was Philippa, but she was never really an option considering that he watched her grow up. He knew her mother. 

Simon puts his hands on Baz's waist and gestures for Baz to put his on Simon's shoulders. His touch feels amazing, like he's setting Simon's nerves on fire. 

They sway to the music for a bit because Simon can't dance for the life of him. 

"I'm confused," Baz says, his voice low and sending shivers down Simon's spine. 

"What? We're dancing."

Baz rolls his eyes. "I'm well aware of that. I meant that I was confused about aging here. I thought the whole thing was that people don't age?"

Simon shrugs. "I dunno. I think it's, like, people born here age like normal. So the tribespeople grow old and die. Me and the pirates don't, though."

"Where did the pirates come from? When did Captain Humdrum arrive?"

Simon thinks about that for a moment, even though it's pretty hard to concentrate with Baz standing so close that Simon can feel his breath on his face. He hasn't, he realizes, put much thought into the time when he first moved to Neverland. There are gaping holes in his memory. He remembers Penny grabbing him, seeing the place for the first time, but then it kind of skips around. He doesn't recall seeing a pirate ship when he arrived, though, so he tries to think about the first time he had to fight the pirates. 

"He wasn't here when I got here. I don't know when he showed up, though. Maybe a few years after I did?"

Simon wonders why Baz is so interested in this and if it has anything to do with his comment about how Simon and the Humdrum look alike. Simon really doesn't want to have to think about it––he hates thinking. Instead, he wants to pick up that conversation from earlier. The one where he told Baz that he makes Simon feel like he's flying even though his feet are still on the ground.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Baz says. 

Simon shakes his head. "You're fine. Can I ask you something, though?"

Baz nods. 

"Could you...when we leave and go back to my house...could you tell me a story?"

Baz grins at him. "Really? A story?"

Simon shrugs. "Yeah. I've missed 'em."

Baz shakes his head at him, trying to suppress a laugh. The sound echoes in Simon's mind, filling him up with something warm and bubbly. It shoots through him and it reminds him of that time that the Humdrum got a good stab in, only this feeling pierces him in a good way. It runs straight through him and flows up from his stomach. From his heart. It fills every fibre of his being. He feels like he isn't grown enough to full the full force of this emotion. Surely, if he were older, he could make some sense of it. 

"Simon," Baz says, his arms moving down to clutch Simon's biceps. 

Simon furrows his brow at him. "What?"

"Si––we're flying." 

Simon looks down and sees that they are, in fact, flying. More like hovering, but they're certainly not touching the ground. Simon laughs at himself and, after a moment, Baz laughs with him. And they're two idiots floating in the sky on the outskirts of a party. 

"Does this happen often? Just randomly floating?"

"No, never. I guess...I told you. You make me feel like I'm flying."

Simon takes them up a bit higher in the air, holding onto Baz to keep him steady. They float above the feast, leaving the fire and the people below them. Simon reaches one hand to cup Baz's cheek. To feel the smooth skin on his face under his calloused finger tips. He feels Baz tense up at the touch and, for a moment, Simon thinks that he's gotten it all wrong and that Baz isn't feeling this feeling, too. But then Baz smiles and melts into the touch so Simon rubs his thumb across his cheek. Baz's eyes flutter shut and he sees him start to lean in. Simon lets his own eyes close as he leans in, too. Their noses brush and he notes that Baz's skin is colder than his own, but he doesn't mind. He takes in a breath and leans in just a bit more.

His lips brush against Baz's. He lets them linger there for a moment, marveling at how soft they are. He pulls away after a second, looking into Baz's eyes.

"This alright?" his voice is a deep whisper. 

Baz doesn't reply. 

Instead, he takes Simon by the back of the neck.


	8. Wrinkles and Worries

This is the biggest feeling that Baz has ever had. It's bigger than all of the anger at his father, his adoration of Mordelia, and his fear of growing up. The feeling he's having right now, the feeling that comes with (finally) kissing Simon Snow is the best and biggest feeling that he is capable of. Simon sighs against his mouth when he kisses him again, taking him by the back of the neck. It's a proper kiss this time. Baz pulls at Simon's hair to tip his head back so he can swipe his tongue between Simon's lips. He parts for Baz and Baz explores Simon's mouth in the way that Simon has probably explored the caves of Neverland. He wants to draw a map of it so he can remember it forever, even if this won't last. 

It hits him, as he kisses Simon, that this is a fantasy. Staying in Neverland was never really an option, even when he climbed out of his window, but that was okay because at least he would have some memories of joy and excitement to get him through his darkest days in the future. But now he realizes that only half of him will return to London because his heart will always be here in Neverland with Simon Snow. And it makes him want to cry because the thought of returning home to his big, lonely house feels so drab and painful when he knows that Simon Snow will be somewhere out there missing him as much as he misses Simon. And it hurts because Baz will grow old while Simon stays young forever.

Baz pulls away because his heart is too full and his brain is too busy to carry on with this for now. Simon smiles at him and presses their foreheads together. 

"Want to go home?" he asks.

Baz's heart freezes in his chest. He's terrified that Simon means London and that this was all some sort of game to him. Just another adventure. 

Simon puts his hand back on Baz's cheek (it'd made it to his back, somehow) and nuzzles his nose against Baz's. "I meant my home."

Baz lets out a staggered breath. He doesn't know what time it is or even if Neverland has time, but he figures that it must be getting late. The people below have started to retreat back into their huts for the night and the fire is being put out. 

"Yeah," Baz says. "I do."

They make their way back to Simon's house. Simon shows Baz the secret knob and lets him push it to open up the hidden door. They slide down in a fight of laughter and suddenly Simon is landing on Baz and on top of him from the impact. Behind them, the fire roars. Simon smiles softly at him and leans down to kiss him. Baz happily obliges, no longer feeling the weight of harsh reality on his shoulders. It feels so much better to kiss Simon than to think, anyway. 

"Are you gay?" Baz asks, pulling away from Simon's lips for a moment.

"Gay? 'Course I am."

"Didn't you have a girlfriend?"

Simon cocks an eyebrow at him. "I––what? I'm confused. Why's that matter?"

Baz sighs. "Simon, what do you think 'gay' means?" He realizes that Simon's vocabulary isn't as modern as his.

"Happy? Carefree? That sorta thing."

Baz wants to give this boy access to Urban Dictionary. "Okay, so I meant, uh, homosexual."

Simon doesn't look happy or carefree now. "Dunno. I've never really thought about it." 

"How do you just not think about it?"

Simon shrugs and rolls off of Baz but intertwines their fingers to make up for the lack of contact. "What's it matter? All I do is fight or save people. And it's not like I've got a line of suitors here."

Baz rolls over to face him, propping his head up on his arm. He can feel some of his hair draping across his face, but he can't bring himself to push it back. "I just...how do you know that you want this?"

"Wait, are you homosexual?"

"Yeah," Baz says without a second thought. "Completely." 

He's known since he was young. If he's being honest, he's known ever since he saw Simon Snow on the cover of the book. It was a silly little drawing and not at all accurate, save the outfit, but there was something about Simon standing with his head high, chin out, and those damn tights that made Baz want to reach out and trace over the image with his index finger. And he did. His mother would always set the book down on his bedside table and he would wait until she had said goodnight to turn his light on and just trace over Simon's features. 

"Well, I know that I like this. That I like you," Simon tells him. "And what we've been doing." 

Baz grins at him. 

Simon yawns and stretches out his arms. "We should probably get some sleep, yeah? Don't mind sharing a bed, do ya?"

Baz finds the idea of sharing a bed with Simon completely nerve-wracking, but he won't say so. It's nerve-wracking in the best way possible. The way that makes his heart ache for it. What he would give to spend the night curled up into Simon's side. He just shakes his head and smiles at Simon as he gets up, takes off his shoes and shirt, and crawls into bed. 

"Aren't you going to change?" Baz asks, standing up and looking for his backpack. 

"Into what? This is all I got."

Baz locates the backpack on the couch and digs through it to find a tee shirt for himself. He also grabs an extra pair of boxers because he has the feeling that Simon isn't wearing any bloody pants. He wants to tell Simon that it's disgusting to wear the same thing all the time, pantsless, but he doesn't want to be rude so he just tosses the boxers over to Simon. 

"What's this?" Simon holds them up and examines them in the dim light. He sticks his arm through them and Baz can't help but laugh. 

"You put them on like your trousers."

"They your's?"

Baz nods and takes off his shirt, facing away from Simon. He figures that Simon has already seen him shirtless so it doesn't really matter. Then he takes off his trousers so he's in his boxers and a shirt. He puts his old outfit back into his backpack and zips it up. 

When he turns back around to crawl into bed, Simon is sitting on top of the blanket in Baz's boxers. He finds the whole thing very attractive and he would like to snog Simon senseless, but he realizes how tired he is from everything and that sleep is probably a better idea. He and Simon both crawl under the fur blanket and find each other under it, illuminated only by the dying fire from the stone fireplace. Simon wraps his arm around Baz and presses the two of them together.

"Goodnight, Baz," Simon yawns.

Baz smiles and pushes his face into Simon's hair, inhaling the scent of it because he doesn't know when he won't be able to anymore. "Night, Simon."

Baz falls asleep faster than he has in years. 

Baz is used to dreamless sleeps. He expects them at this point, so he's surprised when he finds himself dreaming. He knows it's a dream, or he certainly hopes it's a dream, because he's back in his room in London. His window is open and he's in bed so he goes to shut it. He turns to go back to bed and hears someone tapping at it. He turns again and finds Simon hovering outside with that silly grin on his face. Baz walks towards the window and watches as Simon's face turns from glee to horror. He opens the window for Simon but Simon staggers backward. 

"What's wrong, Simon?" he asks. 

Simon gapes and points at him. Tears are forming in his beautiful blue eyes. "You––you promised, Baz! You promised me!"

Baz has no idea what he's on about so he just watches as Simon works himself into a blunder. 

"What did I promise?" he asks. The words sting his throat. He reaches for his throat to massage it but the skin he finds there isn't the skin he remembers at all. He tries to walk backwards but he trips over his own feet and onto the ground by his full-length mirror. He looks at the mirror, at his reflection, and thinks he might be having a heart attack.

His skin is wrinkled and saggy. His eyes are dim and his hair, or what's left of it, anyway, has gone white. He looks back at Simon who is still at the window sobbing and telling Baz that he broke his promise. 

"What promise, Simon?" he asks even though the words burn and the voice is not his own.

"To never grow up."

Baz wakes with a start.


	9. A Parcel of Truths

Simon wakes up alone. He can't stop grinning about last night and how he and Baz kissed for so long. How good it felt to kiss Baz. How good anything feels when Baz is there. He wonders, briefly, if he's a fool for falling for Baz so quickly. After all, he's really only known him a day, but he knows that there's more to it. He's known Baz for years, in a way. All those nights of stories and crying and fighting and Simon heard all of it. He knows that Baz likes to play to violin when he's upset or feeling emotional about something. That Baz has a little sister who he would go to the ends of the earth for. That Baz loves a story. That he wants to be saved. 

Is Simon saving him? He certainly hopes so. 

But now Baz isn't here and Simon is alone again. He hates being alone. Back in London, he was always so fucking alone. All of the time. It didn't matter if there were people around because it was the kind of loneliness that ate him away from the inside. The kind that filled him up until there was no room for anything else. It nearly killed him. It was why he had to get away––why he spent all those nights in Hyde Park. If he was always going to feel alone, no matter what, he thought it would be better for him to just be alone. 

But then Penny found him and he wasn't lonely anymore, even when she was there. She listened to him. She cared. She was there for him when the rest of the world turned its back on him.

So he gets up to find her. If he can't be with Baz now, at least he can be with Penny. She'll know what to do about Baz, he figures. He decides he won't tell her that they kissed (even though that violates their no secrets pact they made ages ago) but he'll see if she knows where Baz has gone off to. If she doesn't have a clue, which he feels is probably impossible, he can at least fill her in on all of the Humdrum nonsense from the day before. Maybe he'll tell her what Baz said, about them looking alike. She'll probably get a kick out of that.

He finds her upstairs. That's where her little apartment is. He still isn't entirely sure what moved her to leave the rest of the fairies behind and live with him, but he doesn't ask anymore. He tried, once, and she got all upset about it. Turned red, even. So he doesn't push her. If she wants to elaborate, he'll be there to listen. 

"Hey, Pen," he says, entering the room. 

She's making him tea, it seems. She never makes it for herself. She tried it once and the caffeine and sugar made her go mental for a few hours. She hasn't tried it since. 

She smiles at him and flutters over, getting right up in his face. "Where were you yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" Simon asks, the word feeling foreign on his tongue. "There is no yesterday. Just what was and what is and what might be." It's a bit of a game they play––joking around about the concept of time in Neverland. It hurts his stomach if he thinks about time too much, and Penny knows this. That's why she plays along.

She glares at him.

Well, usually plays along.

He groans. "Come on, Pen. I was showing Baz around."

She huffs and rolls her eyes. The kettle whistles (Simon remembers bringing that kettle back. It caused a lot of drag) and Penny hurries over to the fire to move it. She's pretty strong for such a tiny thing. 

"Fairies are like ants, Simon," she'd told him once when he asked how such a small creature could lift such heavy things. "We can carry things way over our body weight. Only, with fairies, it's because of magic, not science."

"How do the ants use the science?" he had asked. Because he was a moron.

"You got yourself into trouble again, didn't you?"

Simon takes a seat at the table and watches as Penny pours him a cup of tea. The tea cups, thankfully, were not brought from the mainland. Simon had found them on the shoreline one day, where all of the Lost Things are brought in by the tide. He isn't sure how it works, but he loves it. The magic of it. He's gotten quite a few things from that shore. He thinks he should return the items to their proper owners, but that could take years and the owners might not even be alive anymore. He feels bad, sometimes, for using things that people in London held dear, but if they really loved them, surely they wouldn't have lost them in the first place. 

"Aren't I always getting myself into trouble? Anyway, it doesn't matter. Tribespeople held a big feast for me in the end."

Penny doesn't look impressed. "And where is your guest? Basilton?"

"He goes by Baz, actually," Simon says, blowing on his tea. 

Penny just glares at him and sits on top of the wooden bowl of apples. "Did you return him to London?"

"No. I like having him here. He's gonna stay forever, yeah?"

Penny sighs and takes off her glasses. She flies over to Simon and uses the fabric of his boxers to clean the glass. "Simon," she says, sitting back down on an apple, pressing her glasses up against her nose, "you know that's not true."

He laughs at her. "'Course it is. He likes me and he likes it here. Why wouldn't he stay?"

"Because he has a family, Simon. He has a family and a life in London."

Simon hasn't really thought about this yet. He'd assumed that Baz would stay with him forever because he was the one who had decided to come. He'd packed a bag, for fuck's sake. "He said he wanted to be saved," Simon argues. "And I saved him by bringing him here. He doesn't want to grow up."

Penny just looks at him like he's pathetic. He certainly feels pathetic now, anyway. But then he remembers that Penny doesn't know the whole story. She doesn't know that Baz kissed him back, then kissed him again. She doesn't know how they feel about each other. How Baz likes Simon for the person he actually is and not just the story of his adventures. 

"He'll stay," he says, getting up from the table. "You're just...you're just jealous of me spendin' time with him!"

He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, but he can't stop the rest from spewing out. 

"You're jealous that he's my friend and that he went on adventures with me yesterday! And you hate the fact that I love him and that he wants to stay here forever because then you won't have me all to yourself. You won't be...you won't be able to control me anymore when he stays!"

He wants to throw up. He wants to get on his knees and tell her that he's sorry, but it's too late, now. There's nothing he can do to take any of it back. 

She stands up and brushes invisible crumbs off her dress. "I've never controlled you, Simon. I've protected you. Since the first moment I felt your pain, all I've done is bloody protect you!" She's turning red, now, and Simon is terrified but he also knows that he deserves it.

He hangs his head and lets her carry on. They'll be fine after this, he figures. She can yell at him and then they can laugh at this silly little game they're playing. But there are tears in her eyes and they turn to steam as soon as they hit her cheeks.

"But, you know what? If you're so sure that Basilton will stay forever, then what do you need me for? If he can protect you, what good am I?" She flies off into her apartment for a minute or two and returns with a big stack of papers bound together in string that Simon has never seen before. She drops it on the table and it lands with a thud. "So here you are, Simon. Here is every bloody thing I've protected you from."

With one last glare, she flies out of the room. 

Simon doesn't move. He doesn't say anything. He just stares at the papers and lets the tears fall from his eyes. This feeling, guilt, is so strange for him. It's a feeling he hasn't felt as Simon Snow, only as Simon Salisbury. He doesn't remember it too well. He remembers feeling it for his mother because he was so convinced that he was the one that killed her. It's what is father always told him. It was why his father hated him with everything in him. 

Guilt.

He rubs his arm under his running nose and sits down again. He wipes the tears off his face with the back of his hand and carefully unties the string around the papers. 

The first paper is, he realizes after a moment, is his birth registration certificate. He's never seen it before, but the information is how he remembers it. He sets it aside and sees an old newspaper, one from a few years after he went to Neverland. 

Murderer Found!

He skims over the page to see what importance this document has to him. When he sees it, his heart stops beating. His breath pauses. His knuckles turn to fists. 

David Salisbury of London, formerly of Wales, was recently put on trial and later confessed to the murder of his wife, Lucy Salisbury in 1888. The case of her death has been a subject of interest to her mother, the great Lady Salisbury, for the past seventeen years. As such, the police are treating it as an act of Treason due to the nobility of the esteemed family. David is to be hanged and quartered for his––

Simon stops reading after that. 

All this time, he thought that he had killed his mother. His father told him that he was the reason she was dead. It ate him alive, thinking that he had unknowingly killed his mother. It had torn him apart from the inside out for all his life. But knowing that his father, a murderer, was the one who killed her instead starts a fire in him that he doesn't like. It makes him angry. Angrier than he's ever been. It comes rushing into him, then, that Penny knew what Simon could become the whole time. That she loved him despite this information. It makes a certain sort of sense to him, then. It explains his hunger. His need for adrenaline. In a way, he supposes that he's a junkie in need of a fix, just like his father. He tries to reason with himself and say that it's okay because at least he uses his sword to help people, but now he doesn't know if that's true. He's slain werewolves. Pirates. All sorts of creatures. 

He shoves the newspaper aside and looks at the next page. It's a calendar with everyday marked with an X except for one, which is circled. 

January 21, 2020.


	10. The Sound of a Breaking Heart

It's early morning when Baz makes his way back to Simon's tree. He fell asleep there by the water, letting the waves wash over his feet and lull him into a more pleasant slumber. It must have been some sort of collecting point for the currents and tides because when he woke up he found himself surrounded by small objects that had washed up from the water. They were silly little things––a necklace, a photograph, a doll. He wondered how they all had gotten to the shore on Neverland. They certainly weren't from Neverland. They looked a lot like things he would find at home. The morning light looks lovely on the water and part of him wants to stay and watch it as it shines across the startling blue surface, but he knows that he should get back to Simon. He doesn't want him to worry. 

Since Simon showed him the secret knob, it's easy enough for him to get in. He expects to find Simon still asleep on the bed, but the blanket is a mess and the bed is empty. Faintly, he hears sniffling from upstairs. His smile drops and he rushes up the wooden steps and finds Simon hunched over at the small table near the makeshift kitchen with what looks like a calendar in his hands. Baz comes up behind him and drapes his arms over Simon's shoulders, giving him an awkward hug from behind. 

Simon freezes for a moment and then turns to face Baz. It breaks Baz's heart to see the tears in his eyes––the evidence of his sadness streaked down his face. He brushes away a few tears with the pad of his thumb and crouches down so he and Simon are the same height. 

"Simon," he whispers, keeping his hand cupped on Simon's tear-stained cheek. "Simon, what's wrong?"

Simon doesn't answer him with words. Instead, he sobs and wraps his arms around Baz, sending them both tumbling to the floor. He rubs soothing circles on Simon's bare back as Simon heaves against his chest, his hands scrambling to find purchase in Baz's soft shirt. 

"It's okay," he says, not really sure if that's true. "You're okay. Whatever it is, it'll be alright." 

Simon pulls off him and shakes his head, digging his knuckles into his eyes to fight the tears back. He rubs his nose on his forearm. "It's not. It's not okay. I've fucked everything up. Again." 

Baz frowns at him and winds a hand in Simon's bronze curls, feeling how soft they are. He lets one slip through his fingers. "What happened?"

"I had a fight with Penny. She left and she...oh, God, Baz, what year is it?"

He's very confused. This whole time, he's gone on thinking that Simon doesn't care what year it is. That Simon doesn't want to know how long he's actually been in Neverland. A part of Baz understands this, especially considering how old Simon must be based on his vocabulary and knowledge about normal life. And he doesn't want to tell Simon because he doesn't want to make him more sad than he is, but he also knows that he can't deny Simon's request to know. So he keeps one hand in Simon's hair and the other on his cheek and brings them both into a seated position. He lazily runs his thumb in circles on Simon's smooth, wet skin. 

"Are you sure you want to know?" 

Simon nods.

"It's...it's 2020, Simon."

Simon doesn't say anything for a moment. He bites his quivering lip and looks up at the ceiling. There are fresh tears pooling in his eyes and Baz thinks he might start crying again. And this is the part that Baz has never been good at––helping people through things. He can read emotions pretty well, but his own always stay pretty hidden. Kept safe under a layer of sarcasm and biting wit. For Baz, helping people and showing his own emotions made him too vulnerable for his liking. His father always told him that. To keep his emotions under a cloud of scowls, sneers, and half-hearted eyebrow raises. But Simon is about to start crying again and Baz's heart breaks at the thought of just watching when he knows that he could at least try and help. So he clears his throat.

"Are you...okay?"

Simon nods. "I knew it. Penny left me a calendar. But I couldn't be sure..." Simon holds it out for Baz to look at. The circled date is, or at least was, the right date. 

"Do you want to talk about it? Any of it?" 

Simon shakes his head. "No. No use, is there? I need to show you more stuff, anyway. You haven't even met Ebb yet." 

Simon starts to climb off of him but Baz knows that he's deflecting. Because Simon always deflects. Because Simon Snow didn't come to Neverland to escape growing up––because he came to Neverland to escape himself. Baz understands this, now. All of the games and the fights with pirates are a way for Simon to occupy his mind so he doesn't have to think about anything. So he doesn't have to think about his old life and what he left behind in London. And the realization makes Baz's heart ache for him. And break for him. Because Simon Snow isn't some careless boy who's good with a sword––he's broken and beaten and battered. 

Baz realizes that he didn't need Simon Snow to come and save him. 

He needed to save Simon Snow. 

So Baz grabs his hand. "Hey," he says, softly. "I want you to talk to me about this. Please. I want...I want to understand. I want to help." 

"There's nothing to say. We got in a fight about something stupid and she left me a bunch of papers about my past."

"What about your past?"

Simon looks like he wants to fight Baz, but he gives in almost instantly. His shoulders slump forward. "My father. He said...I always thought my mother died in childbirth. He made me feel so guilty about it. But I was wrong. She was killed."

Baz lowers his gaze. It hurts to see Simon so sad. "Oh."

"He killed her, actually."

Baz looks back up at him. "What? How? Why?"

Simon shrugs. "Dunno. I couldn't...it was too hard for me to read it. But he was killed for his crimes because she was from a noble family. And...what if I'm like him, Baz?"

"Simon, you are nothing like him."

And he really does believe that. 

"I've killed before."

"Pirates and creatures. Evil things. You're a hero."

"No I'm not!" Simon shouts, floating up into the air a bit with the outburst. He flushes, embarrassed, and comes back down. "I'm not a hero. I'm just a boy with a sword playing make-believe."

Baz shakes his head at him. Grabs Simon by the shoulders. Forces Simon to look at him. "You have been through hell. Okay? You've been through hell so many times over and you survived. And you are incredibly strong and brave and ridiculous and beautiful for it. And I'm so sorry that your father was such a dick, but you know what? It doesn't matter. You couldn't be anything like him if you tried because you realized he was evil and you got away. He was a bloody pirate, too, Simon. Just like the ones you've fought and beaten. And you've beaten him and he's gone and you are nothing like him."

Simon stares at him for a moment, mouth hanging open, then surges forward and catches Baz's lips in his own. It only lasts for a moment––just long enough for Baz to quell his surprise and kiss him back. When Simon pulls back, he has a watery, tear-stained grin on his face. 

"Let's go on another adventure, shall we?"


	11. The Cunning Spirit of a Pirate

It's quiet on the rocky shore of Cannibal Cove and it's the kind of quiet that Penny needs to wrap her mind around everything that happened. The guilt is eating her alive, especially knowing that she dumped that all on Simon without sticking around to help him cope with it. Her plan was to tell at him at some point when things had hit a lull and Simon was bored and had the time to process and deal with all of it, but she can't change things now. He needed to know, anyway. It'll be for the best, or so she tells herself. 

What's bothering her the most, though, is that Simon seems to believe that Baz will stay in Neverland forever. She adores Simon and she might be a bit jealous of Baz since Simon hasn't paid her any attention since Baz arrived, but she thought it would be fine because Baz would just be a temporary visitor. He will be a temporary visitor. She knows that. It breaks her heart that Simon doesn't, though. That he's so naive as to think that Baz will leave his life and family behind to fight pirates with Simon for the rest of his life. What worries her most about that part of it is that she's afraid that Simon won't let Baz leave. Or maybe that Baz will tell Simon he wants to go and that Simon will get upset and refuse to return him to London. It scares her, frankly, what Simon is capable of when he's emotional. He's always let his emotions guide him which is fine for a sword fight or for deciding what to do with the day, but it's why he never belonged in London. Because people, normal people, steer clear of Simon when they can. Maybe they sense that his emotions are too great and that his heart is different from their own. Or maybe they feel that hunger in him––the same hunger that drove his father to kill his mother. 

No. Penny feels guilty for even thinking that Simon could end up like his father. She brought him to Neverland to shield him from the bad. To protect him from just that. Fairies have some magic. Enough magic for them to be able to channel it into a crystal ball or some suitable, reflective surface and see some of the possibilities of the future. And Penny used that knowledge to find Simon that night and save him from what he could become. She lied to him then. She's lied to him constantly. Because she didn't feel his pain––she saw what his pain could turn him into. And she didn't know him but she wanted to save him from himself. 

So she sits on the rocky shore of Cannibal Cove thinking about how she would do anything to get Simon to see that Baz won't stay. And she's so deep in thought that she doesn't realize that Mr. Mage is approaching him, his ridiculous cloth hat in hand. And she barely registers what's happening in time to let out a scream. And Mr. Mage has her trapped in his hat and he's carrying her away from Cannibal Cove and the rocky shoreline and from her thoughts of how she can protect Simon Snow. 

When she's released from Mr. Mage's disgusting, foul-smelling hat, she notes that she's in Captain Humdrum's cabins aboard his ship. She's placed onto a table in front of the captain who stares at her with an uncomfortable, forced smile. She wonders what she's doing here. What he wants from her. 

"Well, Miss Bunce," he says, still smiling at her. "I've decided to leave the island."

She raises an eyebrow at him. At first, she doesn't want to believe him. She's not foolish enough to believe him without any evidence. 

He seems to recognize her suspicion. His tortured, pale blue eyes glisten in the dim candle light and he lets his smile fall. Thankfully. It was unsettling. "Haven't you heard? Simon Snow defeated me yesterday. I think he was just trying to impress his...guest, but nonetheless, he defeated me. He only let me live if I promised to leave forever. And I am nothing if not a man of me word. Right, Mr. Mage?"

Mr. Mage sets down his bottle of rum with a smile. "Uh, yes, cap'n. Always!"

Captain Humdrum nods to him as if this will prove some point for Penny. "And that's why I asked you over here, Miss Bunce. To tell Simon I bear him no ill will. Oh, Snow has his faults to be sure, like bringing that boy to the island, for instance. Dangerous business, that."

Penny huffs in agreement. She realizes, for the first time, that the captain is, technically speaking, an adult. And since he's an adult, surely he knows best. She can't seem to recall who started this silly feud––Simon or the Humdrum––but she's sure it was Simon. An adult would never willingly and senselessly attack a child, right?

"Why, rumor has it that already he has come between you and Simon."

Penny's head falls as she realizes the truth in his words. Baz has come between her and Simon. And of course she wants Simon to be happy, but Baz can't make him happy. Not when he'll just leave live everyone else has left Simon. Everyone except her. She doesn't eve realize she's crying until the Humdrum frowns at her and offers her a handkerchief. She takes it gratefully and uses it to soak up her tears. 

"What's this?" he asks, getting to his feet in shock. "Tears? Then it is true!"

She blows her nose and nods solemnly.

The captain turns to Mr. Mage, his long, blonde curls jumping out behind him with the sudden movement. "Oh, Mage. Taking the best years of her life and then...casting her aside like an old glove!"

Penny sobs in agreement. Maybe she shouldn't have listened to Simon when he said the Humdrum was evil. He certainly seems to know the way of things better than Simon does. Maybe, if Simon hadn't been so hot-headed and eager for a fight, the pirates could have lived peacefully on their ship whilst she and Simon lived peacefully under Hangman's Tree. Truth be told, she never really liked the whole thing with the pirates. So much fuss and danger. Simon had nearly died from their battles a few times now, and of course Penny was the one that had to help take care of him. 

"Ain't it a fucking shame!" Mr. Mage cries in agreement, taking another sip of the rum to calm him down. Penny wants to ask him for some but she knows it won't go well. One droplet gets her drunk. She tried it, once, with Simon. He'd stolen a bunch of it and they both got themselves proper pissed on it. Penny remembers wondering how the pirates got anything done with that stuff lying around. 

"But we mustn't judge Simon too harshly, me dear. It's that Basilton who's to blame."

Penny's eyes widen in shock as she realizes the truth to his words. Without Baz to distract Simon and make him feel like he's finally found what he's looking for, Simon and Penny would be off doing their usual things like playing with Ebb's goats or talking to the mermaids. And Simon wouldn't be heartbroken when Baz decides to leave him to go home. 

"Mr, Mage," the captain says, turning to his right hand man again, his hands going to stroke his beard. He looks thoughtful. 

More thoughtful than Simon has ever been, for certain. 

"We must save the lad from himself. But how?"

Mr. Mage bursts into tears which, surprisingly, makes Penny feel better about the whole ordeal. 

"We've so little time," the captain argues to himself, pacing the room. "We sail in the morning."

Penny watches him with intent. Suddenly, the captain stops pacing and points a finger in the air, the smile returning to his face. "Sail! That's it, Mage! We'll shanghai Basilton!"

Mr. Mage looks up at him with confusion on his little, red face. "Shanghai Basilton, Cap'n?" He clearly doesn't understand what that means, but Penny does. And oh, does the thought excite her. Not only will it get Basilton out of the way, but it won't put Simon in the position of having to take him home. They can avoid the awkward conversation all together. Simon will see Baz leaving on Captain Humdrum's ships and he'll realize that all Baz wanted was an adventure, not a friendship, and he'll come running back into Penny's arms and she'll be able to protect him again. 

It sounds bloody perfect. 

"Take him to sea with us! With him gone, Simon will soon forget this...mad infatuation."

Penny cheers. 

The captain takes Mr. Mage's hand and starts dragging him out of the cabin. "Come, Mage. We must leave immediately! Surround Simon's home––"

"But, Cap'n! We don't know where Simon Snow lives!"

The captain stops in his tracks, dropping Mr. Mage's hand. He pulls on his beard again. It reminds Penny of the way Simon tugs on his curls. "Great Scott, you're right!"

Penny flies up to him instantly. "I know! I know where he lives!" she shouts, excited that she can be of use to someone. 

"What's that, my dear? You could show us the way?"

Penny nods eagerly and heads over to the map that sits unfurled on his mahogany desk.

"Why, I never thought of that!" he exclaims, rushing over to meet her at the table. 

She carefully grabs the quill, dips it into the ink pot, and marks the ship on the map as the starting point. She starts drawing the way to Simon's hideout. She pauses before she makes her way over to the forest that holds Hangman's Tree. 

"Well, get on with it!" the captain shouts, his fist banging on the table. He seems to remember himself because he clears his throat. "I mean, continue, me dear."

Penny flies up to him again, shaking her small fist in his face. "You have to swear," she growls, "not to lay a hand on Simon."

"Madam," he says, clearly offended that she would even suggest that he would do such a thing. "Captain Humdrum gives his word not to lay a finger on Simon Snow."

Satisfied with his promise, she goes back to the map and marks a large "X" over Hangman's tree. 

"Ah, Hangman's Tree? So that's the entrance to his hideout!" 

Penny looks down to admire her handiwork and to think of how Simon will tell her that she was right when this is all over. He'll forgive her, certainly, when he realizes what Baz's true intentions were. Suddenly, the captain's hand comes straight for her. She doesn't react because she honestly wasn't expecting for him to betray her, so he manages to grab her. He squeezes his calloused fingers around her and grins.

"Thank you, me dear. You've been––" he shoves her into an empty lantern, "most helpful!"


	12. At the Foothills by Crocodile Creek

Ebb and her goats have always been one of Simon's favorite features of the island. He stumbled across them long ago when he was new to everything and just learning how to fly. The land gave him that, the gift of flight, or so Ebb told him. She told him lots of things about the land. The land was the thing that she understood above all else. There was some connection there, apparently––Ebb and the land. Penny might've had fairy magic, but Ebb's magic was something different. Some unspoken bond between her and the earth that she made sure to pay back in full by taking care of the goats.

Simon was pretty sure that this––visiting Ebb and the goats––wasn't a part of the stories that Baz had heard or told. The "noteworthy" things were the battles, not his friendship with the woman. So he was excited to show Baz this part of his life. A part that no one (apart from Penny, but he wasn't letting him think about her now) knew. 

"Just so you know," Simon says as they approach the area beyond Crocodile Creek at the foothills of the mountains. He's got Baz on his back, arms around Simon's shoulders and neck, since Baz's fairy dust ran out and Simon doesn't have another fairy to replace it. "Ebb is kind of...special."

"Special how?" Baz asks, his mouth against Simon's ear. "Is she a witch?"

"Sorta. She's got natural magic. Land magic. But she's also got the ability to feel people's emotion when she touches 'em. I think that's just how Ebb is, though, not because of the nature magic."

Simon drops them by Ebb's house. It's a warm day so she's herding the goats around the pasture outside of her small cottage, letting them feed on the overgrown grass and bask in the warm sunlight. Simon's face lights up when he sees her. He takes Baz's hand and drags him over to Ebb.

She's a broad-shouldered woman with kind eyes and a warm smile. She cries a lot, so much so that she looks like she's on the brink of tears. She's middle-aged but she looks older and worn, like she's seen and been through a lot in her younger years. 

"'Ello, Simon," she says. 

He gestures to Baz by his side. "Hiya, Ebb. This is my new friend, Baz. Baz, this is Ebb."

Baz extends his hand, clearly forgetting that Ebb will be able to feel his emotions with a touch. She loves getting to do this, though, so she surges forward and grabs his hand to shake it. She stares at him for a moment as she absorbs his feelings. She takes a shuddered breath and pulls her hand away. 

"My goodness, Baz," she says, "you're feeling a lot right now, aren't ya?"

Baz looks embarrassed so Simon finds his hand again and gives it a squeeze. He loves the feeling of Baz's hand in his own. Baz instantly relaxes at the touch, the tension drifting out of his shoulders. 

"Lots of wonder," she goes on, "but also something else, yes? And certainly a good load of it." 

She glances at Simon and Baz's cheeks turn red. Simon wonders what she's on about, but it seems like she's decided not to say anything more. Maybe he can get it out of her later. 

"So, what do I owe the pleasure, Simon?"

Simon shrugs. "Just wanted to come and say hi. And introduce you to Baz. I'm showing him around, yeah?" 

She nods. "How lovely. And how did you two meet?"

Ebb is the only person that never asks Simon about his adventures. Never. Maybe they scare her. Maybe the thought of Simon going up against pirates makes her nervous for his wellbeing. He doesn't mind it, though. He likes talking to her about random things he sees on his adventures––a strange flower, a beautiful creature. The only time she ever asked him about an adventure was when he ended up in that nasty werewolf den. Ebb hates the werewolves.

"They come in the night and try and take my goats," she told him once. It was kind of why he went after the werewolves in the first place. As a way to repay Ebb for all she's done for him over the countless years. 

Though, he supposes that the years aren't countless anymore. In fact, he could go home and count them, if he wanted to. (He doesn't.)

"I heard him telling a story one night a while back," Simon explains. "And I was, like, so enchanted by his voice, you know? It was like magic or something, I swear."

"And just yesterday he managed to climb into my window to look for his shadow. He'd lost it, apparently."

Ebb grins. "He always loses it! To be fair, it is a nasty little bugger. Never listens. Always running off." She peers at the ground. "Say, Simon, where's it gone off to now?"

Simon follows her gaze and groans when he sees Baz's shadow and Ebb's shadow but not his own. "Shit. Must've freed himself while I was sleeping."

"Freed itself? Good heavens, Simon, what did you do to the poor thing?"

"I sewed it on for him," Baz says. 

Ebb rolls her eyes and readjusts her hands on her staff. "No wonder it keeps running off then, what, with you tying it up and everything. I'd sneak off, too!"

"Is that just something that happens here? Shadows sneak off?" 

Ebb laughs. Simon always likes it when she laughs. It's a nice change from the crying. "No, just Simon. Most things 'round here only happen to Simon."

Simon's cheeks flush. "'S not true," he mutters, kicking at a small rock on the ground. 

"Big emotions, that boy," Ebb goes on. "Always letting his heart tell him where to go. I've told him, if he just thought about things for a moment, he wouldn't have so many scars from those silly little games with the pirates." 

Baz raises an eyebrow at him. "Scars?"

Simon wants to fly off. Maybe dive into the creek and let the crocodiles make a snack out of him. 

"Yeah, loads of 'em. Isn't that right, Simon? He always comes to me when he needs fix'n. Or Penny, if she doesn't get too mad at him being all reckless. Such a heart––" 

He starts to pull Baz away. "Well, we'd best be off," Simon says, fake smiling at her. "Plenty more to see, right?"

Ebb stares for a moment before setting her shoulders back and standing up a bit straighter. Simon knows that means that she's realized her mistake and remembered the whole social boundaries thing, but he hopes that she doesn't feel too bad about it. Normally he's really comfortable around her. He likes to tell her about everything going on in his life because she likes to listen and give him advice, but he refuses to let Baz in on so many of his terrible habits and little faults. Those can stay between him and Ebb and the goats. 

Baz, bless his soul, just waves at Ebb and lets Simon drag him off. Simon takes him to the creek and they sit at the bank of it, watching the crocodiles swim lazily by.

Baz nudges Simon with his shoulder. "Are you okay? I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you."

Simon tugs at his curls. "Yeah, yeah, I know. She just...she likes to embarrass me, sometimes. Usually it's fine because she's embarrassing me to myself, but I didn't want her to embarrass me to you."

Baz leans his head against Simon's shoulder. Simon grins, realizing that he now has the height advantage. He kisses the top of Baz's head in triumph. 

"Thank you for taking me to meet her," Baz says. "She really was quite lovely. And I can tell that she cares for you deeply." 

Simon rests his own head atop Baz's, intertwining their fingers and putting their joined hands on his bent knee.

"She's like your mother, isn't she?"

Simon frowns. "I didn't––"

"No, no, I know. I mean...she's like your Neverland mother. The one you talk to when you're upset. She's the one that looks after you."

"Penny looks after me, too."

"You know what I mean."

Simon shrugs. "I guess."

Baz lifts his head and looks Simon in the eye. "Well then, I guess I must mean an awful lot to you if you've let me meet your mother."

Simon grins back at him. 

He's still smiling when Baz pushes his lips against Simon's. Baz's hands find their way into Simon's hair (Simon wants to ask about his obsession with the curls when they're not busy kissing) and Simon starts rubbing Baz's stomach. As the kiss deepens, Simon hums into Baz's mouth, thinking about how excited he is to have this, the two of them, forever.


	13. Stay

Simon shows Baz a few other things around the island, like the werewolf den, before deciding that they should head back. While they fly over where the fairies live, Baz points it out and asks what it is. Somewhere deep within Simon's heart, something clenches at the sight and mention of the fairies because it reminds him of Penny and their fight. Generally, he's really good at not thinking about things that could worry him. Some might even dare to say that his suppression skills are even better than his sword fighting skills. So it's annoying for him when things get to him, especially things that he doesn't want to have to bother with. There's nothing he can do to fix the Penny problem. He doesn't know where she is––though she might be back with the rest of the fairies––so it's not like he can go apologize to her. 

"It's nothing," Simon says.

He can tell that Baz isn't convinced. 

He rolls his eyes. "It's where the fairies live."

Baz squeezes Simon's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"I know. It's fine." 

They fly in silence on the way back to Hangman's Tree, but it isn't uncomfortable. Normally, Simon hates silences because silences are hardly ever good silences. Silences are the absence of fun. They're too real and adult and sad for him to deal with. But silence with Baz is comforting because he can feel the weight of Baz's body on his own like a weighted blanket keeping him warm. And he can feel Baz's hair on his neck and it feels better than any breeze he's experienced when he's flying. And it feels like, even though Penny left him, he still has a lot going for him. Before he met Baz or even heard his voice, Penny leaving would have wrecked Simon's world. It would have completely uprooted everything in his life and torn right through him like Captain Humdrum's sword. It does hurt him, immensely, but the pain is halted a bit with Baz by his side. 

When they get back to Hangman's Tree, Simon makes them some tea and snacks. Well, Baz makes the tea, but Simon puts together a lovely assortment of nuts and berries for them to snack on. He clears the table of the mess of papers and puts them under his bed for him to deal with later. When he comes back up into the kitchen area, Baz has the tea done and on the table. He's looking at the table with a raised eyebrow and his lips in a thin line. 

"What's wrong?"

Baz sighs and gestures to the table. "There's only one chair."

Well, Simon's only ever needed one chair so it's never been a problem. "Oh. I––you take it."

"Are you sure?"

Simon nods. "I'll just, y'know, levitate."

Baz looks at him like he's unsure so Simon sits on the ground and sits with his criss-crossed against him, then lets himself rise in the air so he's at a seated height. Baz chuckles at him and pours them each a cup of tea. It's steaming hot so they stick to the nuts and berries while the tea cools. 

"It's kind of freaky," Baz says, gesturing to Simon's levitating. 

Simon shrugs. "Eh, you'll get used to it." 

Baz smirks at him and tries a sip of the tea. Since he doesn't burn his tongue or anything, Simon deems the tea safe enough to try. 

"I––I just wanted to tell you how much I like you being here," Simon smiles. "And just, like, you. In general." 

Baz smiles. "I like you, too. Obviously."

Simon reaches for his hand across the table and allows the feeling of having Baz's hand in his own flow through him. It fills him up and mutes everything else going on in his head––everything with his father, with Penny, with himself. It puts him at instant ease. If Baz's touch continues to sooth him like this, he thinks that he'll be okay, even with Penny gone. 

"I'm glad. It'll be good, yeah?" 

Baz frowns at him. "What will, Simon?" 

"You being here. We can see Ebb and the mermaids and––

"Simon, what are you on about?"

"You. Staying here. With me."

Baz sighs and takes his hand away from Simon's. The loss of contact instantly makes Simon's stomach sink. "I can't stay here forever. You know that, right?"

Simon shakes his head and tugs his fingers through his hair. The room feels too small now. The walls are closing in and the air is too thick for Simon to breathe. His skin is buzzing, his blood is pulsing so hard that it's humming against his skin. He clenches his fists and he swears that the air around him grows hot and humid with his anger. Maybe this is how it all ends––maybe Ebb was right about the land giving things to people when they need them and maybe he needs to just...go off. 

Suddenly, Baz's hands are cupping his face and Simon realizes that he's floated higher in the air, his legs bumping against the ceiling. He opens his eyes (which he had apparently squeezed shut in his frustration) and sees Baz's calming, grey eyes staring at him. He looks scared, Simon notes, so he wills himself back to the ground. 

"Simon, I adore you, but I can't stay here. I––I have a family. A life. In London."

"No. No...you said...you wanted to be saved!"

Baz's hands are still on his face, but it feels wrong now. It feels like he's burning Simon alive. Simon moves his face away. 

"You have saved me, Simon. And I want to be with––"

"No! You just want the stories. The stupid––the fucking adventures! That's all everyone wants, innit? Why can't...why can't I just be good enough as I am?"

Baz moves to comfort him, but Simon pushes him away and he falls on his ass. 

"Si––"

"Get away from me! You're just like all the rest. Go, then! It's what you wanted anyway!"

He barely registers the sound of Baz's sob or his footsteps as they get further away from him and descend down the creaky stairs. It's impossible to hear anything over the sound of his heart.

The sound of his heart breaking in two.


	14. Boom

The words are on repeat in his mind as Baz tries to stumble his way out of the house. The pain in Simon's voice, the tears on his cheeks, are certainly etched into his memory forever. A permanent engraving in his mind of his failure. It was all coming together so beautifully––all those years of wishing on a star, of tracing Simon's outline on the cover of the book, of telling stories. Of wanting to meet Simon. Of being in love with him before he even knew what it meant to be in love. Part of Baz feels like this isn't right because they really only met a day ago, but it's more than that and he knows it. Simon's been there for years, listening to Baz's stories and then listening to the painful fights and arguments with his father. And Baz has been holding onto the glorious vision of Simon since his mother's death. Probably before that, too. Simon Snow has always been the constant in his life and Baz was so close to having all of his dreams come true and he just went and fucked it all up in less than a moment. 

It's cold outside. And raining. Vacantly, he wonders if the weather somehow mimics Simon's emotions. He told Baz that he didn't have any magic, but Baz knows that it was a lie. Maybe Simon doesn't know it, but he is bloody powerful. When he was upset in the kitchen, the air got so hot and electric that Baz's skin started to itch. It brought tears to his eyes. And it was real and terrifying and so inexplicably Simon. 

Someone grabs him from behind, throwing their foul-smelling hand over his mouth. He wants to scream, wants to fight, but he can't because they're grabbing his arms, too. His wrists are bound together with tight, painful rope that digs into his skin. 

"We've got Basilton, Cap'n," a deep voice whispers, cutting through the darkness. 

Captain Humdrum appears from the darkness, his smile illuminated eerily even in the dense fog. In his hands he holds a package wrapped in white paper with a green bow tied around it. Baz can make out his own name attached to the bottom of the gift tag and he knows that nothing good can come of this. He fights against his restraints but the rope's done up too tight and the hand is firm around his mouth, probably bruising his cheeks. Tears come to his eyes as he realizes that he is completely helpless against his captors––against the pirates. He glares at Captain Humdrum because he can do little else but kick his feet furiously in protest of it all. 

The man comes over to Baz and strokes his cheek with the back of his scarred hand. It makes Baz want to vomit. 

The captain holds the gift up and takes the tag between his fingers. "To Simon with love," he reads. "From Basilton." He tosses the package over to Mr. Mage who Baz can see looming behind the captain. "I think it'll work quite nicely, don't you?"

Baz tries to scream but his sounds are muffled by the large hand still on his mouth. 

The captain waves his hand and Baz's world turns black.

When he wakes, he's tied to the mast. He looks around finds that he's surrounded by pirates with gleaming eyes and unsettling grins. His mouth has been freed from that ghastly hand, allowing him to scream and protest.

"What do you want with me?" 

The captain himself emerges from the hoard and smiles down at him. "I want you to join us, me boy!"

Baz rolls his eyes. "I would never join you. You repulse me."

The captain does not look pleased with this response, but Baz wonders why he would expect anything else. "If you refuse to join, you shall walk the plank."

"He'll come for me, you know. Simon Snow will save me." He doesn't know if it's true, but he hopes it is. That even if they had a falling out, Simon's hero complex will force him to come and save the day like he always does. 

The captain laughs at him and soon all of the other pirates are laughing, too. It's a melancholic wave of laughter, one that is most definitely forced. It's pathetic, really, that the captain has these people wrapped around his finger just to have someone appreciate him. It's sad and disgusting and walking the plank seems like a welcomed exit at this point. At least it will stop Baz from feeling so fucking guilty about all of this. About Simon.

"Simon Snow will save him, Mage," the captain chuckles, leaning onto Mr. Mage as his body subsides from laughter. 

"Simon Snow will save him!" Mr. Mage laughs in agreement. 

After a moment, when the laughter has finally subsided, the captain turns his focus back to Baz. He removes his ridiculous feathered hat and bows. "A thousand pardons, me boy. I don't believe you are in on our little joke." He stands and puts his hat back on. "You see, we left that present for Simon."

Baz's fists clench at his side as he recalls the memory. The present, wrapped up neatly with the green bow, with his name signed on it. 

"Sorta a...surprise package, you might say!" Mr. Mage grins. 

"Why, I can see our little friend at this very moment," the captain says, sighing lustfully and staring up like he's having some weird, psychotic vision of it. "Reading the tender inscription..."

He doesn't say anything for a while. Instead, he just stares off into the distance with that sadistic smile on his face. For a gloomy pirate, he sure does do a lot of smiling.

He comes back to his senses after a moment. "What he would see within the package...oh! He would find an ingenious little device."

Mr. Mage clears his throat. "Set so, when the hands are like..." he contorts his arms so one is extended straight above his head, pointer finger extended, and the other straight below him in the same fashion. "This––"

"Simon Snow will be blasted out of Neverland. Forever!"

Baz feels his blood boil. Surely, he thinks, the pirates can't be smart enough to pull off something so intricate. There are too many variables for them to handle. According to Simon, and from his own knowledge of things, the pirates are too idiotic to aim a cannon correctly, let alone pull of some grand plan that finally ends Simon Snow. 

"No!" Baz protests, the tears falling again. He fights against his restraints but it's no use. He's trapped and Simon Snow might die. And Baz can't help but feel that it's all his fault. 

Somewhere within the cabin, behind the closed door, glass shatters. 

"But time grows short," the captain grins, producing a clock and holding it out to show Baz. "We have but..." he looks at it, "eighteen seconds."

Baz struggles again against the ropes.

"Fifteen seconds." 

He wills the land to give him something, anything, that might help him save Simon. The ability to burn through rope. To fly. To shoot laser beams from his eyes. 

"Thirteen seconds." 

Should he have refused Simon's request to join him in Neverland?

"Eleven seconds." 

If he had stayed home, none of this would be happening. He would grow up and Simon would be off adventuring with Penny until the end of his days. 

"Eight seconds." 

But if he didn't come, he never would have known what it was like to truly be happy. Because that's what Simon is for him––happiness. It's all Simon's ever been for him. All that Simon will continue to be until Baz takes his final breath.

"Five seconds." 

So, no. He's glad he came. He's glad that he got to show Simon, if only for a brief while, how much he loves him.

"Three seconds." 

And Simon loves him, too. And he's sure of that. And now he can die happily knowing that Simon got to add an epic love story to his list of adventures. 

"One second..."

There's a large, gut-wrenching explosion on the island. A chunk of the land explodes into a mushroom cloud of red fire and black smoke and the pure magnitude of it sends a shockwave through the water that rocks the boat for a few seconds. 

And all Baz can do is watch in horror as he realizes that his worst fears have come to fruition. 

Simon Snow, the love of his sorry excuse for a life, is dead. 

And instead of letting himself feel the heartbreak, the total, consuming pain of it, he shuts down. His heart isn't any good to him anyway. Not anymore. His heart isn't even in his body––it's just been blown to bits in Hangman's Tree.


	15. Drained Dry

It's silent when Simon comes to. Everything is hazy both in his mind and in his spotted vision. There's smoke all around him and he can feel it deep in his lungs. He groans and rolls over, noticing a pain in his side as he does so. He sits up to examine himself and to survey the damage around him. There's a gash in his side, presumably from the wreckage of whatever the fuck was in that package. He remembers it now. The package from Baz. The present in the elegant green bow that said not to open until six o'clock, but then, when six came, he couldn't even open it because it exploded. It should have killed him at such a proximity...

Penny. 

God, he remembers Penny bursting in and wrestling him for the package. He was mad about it because he thought the gift was Baz's way of apologizing and that Penny was just jealous, but now he knows that she was trying to save him. She took it far enough away that it didn't blow his head off. So, in comparison of what could have happened, the painful, bloody gash in his side is really not that bad. Even if it hurts like hell. 

Everything is still smokey and hazy, but he knows that he needs to find Penny. He crawls through the wreckage in search of her shimmering light, the dim glow of her fairy magic that should bring him right to her. He can't find it, though. There's too much smoke and his side hurts so much and he can't believe that Baz tried to kill him. As if telling Simon he didn't want to stay didn't already kill him enough. 

"Penny?" he calls, lifting up what he perceives to be a remnant of his fireplace. He sets it down and a cloud of dust and ash washes over him, covering his face in soot. 

He coughs, trying to expel the particles from his lungs. It stings his eyes, the ash, so tears form to cry and clean them. 

"Oh, Christ, Penny! Penny, where are you?"

He hears a faint cough or maybe the pained hint of Simon from nearby so he tries to follow the sound. It seems to be coming from underneath a pile of rocks. He flies over and, using all the strength he has left, starts to pull at the rocks. Debris falls around him and marks cuts into his arms, but he keeps pulling at the rocks. 

"Baz..." she manages from deep within the fallen pieces of their home. "Captain Humdrum has him...he's in," she coughs, "danger." 

Simon thinks about it for a moment, about Baz being held hostage by the Humdrum. If Baz is in trouble, that means that he wasn't the one that sent the package. It was the captain and his pirates. 

Simon shakes it off, filing it away to deal with later. "Well, I've got to save you first!" He starts pulling away the debris again. It's hot to the touch and he registers that it's burning his hands but he can't bring himself to care about it. All that matters is getting Penny. 

He crawls towards her voice and dim light, crawling under the vestiges of the life they had built together. "Hold on, Pen, hold on!" The purple light gets a bit dimmer. He's so close, though. He presses on. "Don't go out," he begs, not sure if the tears falling are just to clean his eyes. "Don't you understand, Pen? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world." 

He's finally got eyes on her. She's small and frail and coiled up into a hopeless ball on the rubble. Her wing is bent the wrong way and he can see that she's just barely hanging on to life. The ruins tremor around him and more debris falls from overhead, headed straight for Penny. He gasps and leaps towards her, curling himself around her so the rubble hits him and not her. Rocks cut through his shirt and tear violently at his skin. He bites his lip to hold back a sob because he isn't what's important right now––only Penny is.

When the shaking and falling subsides again, he scoops her up in his hands and crouches. All around him is ash and burnt pieces of the place he's called home for as long as he can remember properly and there doesn't seem to be an easy way out. If this is how it ends, at least it ends as it should––with him and Penny together. 

But he won't let this be the end. Penny needs to survive, at least. And he needs to at least try and get to Baz before it's too late. There's too much riding on him to give up now. And he's never given up before, even with much lower stakes, so he's certainly not going to quit. There's still some life in him, surely enough life for him to manage flying up and out of the wreckage. He cups his hands around Penny and closes his eyes, allowing his heart to guide him as it's always done. They're crashing through the debris and going up towards the dim light of the setting sun. The pain is so intense that he's numb. That's fine, though. He can deal with healing and resting later. For now, he lets the numbness carry him up out of the darkness and onto the solid land above. 

He flies her into the forest and away from the wreckage. He thinks about Ebb's magic and the power of the earth and emotions as he contemplates what he can do to save his friend. He keeps her in his hands and closes his eyes.

He thinks about the first time he saw her––when he was alone and cold and wet––and how she was so kind to him. How she smiled at him and listened to his story of woe and took him away from his dreadful life and gave him a better one. He thinks about when they found the secret entrance in Hangman's Tree, entirely on accident, and how she told him that they could, in time, make it a home. He thinks about how much he loves her and how the thought of losing her forever broke his heart in two. 

How it's a different kind of love than the love he feels for Baz and how it's not bad to love them both so much that there isn't room for anything else in him. How he would, and how he has, done anything and everything to keep her safe. To make her happy. How she protected him in turn and how meaningless and cold his life would be without her in it. 

While he thinks about all of these things, he pictures his undying, everlasting love and appreciation for her as a star. Or maybe a bolt of energy. Something tangible and warm and real. And he thinks about it filling her up so at least she can know how he feels about the warmth and consistency of her friendship and how much it means to him if these are her last breaths. He pushes the feeling into her through his hands. 

They start glowing. His hands are glowing. It's a golden light that leaks through his fingers and pours out of him uncontrollably. Penny starts to glow too. Golden at first, but then purple. Her purple. And suddenly her wing is fixing itself and straightening back out and there's life in her cheeks. 

It's positively draining, but Simon smiles at the sight of it. It's like he's giving her his life. His love. Everything she needs to get back up on her feet (or wings, he supposes) again. Her eyes flicker open and she grins at him then flies up to kiss his cheek. 

"Simon," she says, breathlessly but still so full of life. 

His life, he realizes. He's given her some of his life to fill her up again.

She's crying. "Simon," she says again. "What did you do, you idiot?"

He manages a shrug. "Gave you some of my life, I think."

She gasps and flies down again, landing on his hand and giving his finger a squeeze. Because she's so small, it's the only hug they can manage. 

"You shouldn't have. I don't deserve it. I've been a rotten––"

"It's fine, Pen. I...I wanted you to have it. I've got too much of it in me, anyways." He feels emptier, now. Less alive. Less excited about adventures with pirates and werewolves. It feels...well, it feels like shit. But it's okay because Penny's alive and well. It's something to get used to, but it might return someday. He hopes it does. He can't imagine living the rest of his life feeling this depleted.


	16. Alive

The captain is quick to turn his attention away from the cloud of smoke that lurks on the shore. There's no fire now, just a black, sooty haze in the distance. 

"And now, which will it be?" he says, picking up a quill. Baz wants to scream at him––wants to ask for a fucking minute to process what just happened. 

It's hard for him to think about, honestly. It's even harder for him to try and imagine how Simon felt about it all––the look of happiness on his face when he saw the package and thought it was from Baz. The complete and utter devastation and betrayal when that package started to smoke and jolt violently in his hands as the clock turned to the triggering position. Simon Snow's last thought was probably about how he was confused and also terribly, terribly gutted. He had to have been. If their roles were reversed and Baz had received what he thought was a gift from Simon, it would have elated him. Then, if that gift started to very obviously show that it was meant to do him harm...

It was too hard for him to think about. How Simon's face would have changed from happiness to horror in an instant. 

"The pen? Or the plank?"

Baz scowls at him in response. It's, quite frankly, ridiculous that the captain decided to ask the stupid question. Even if Simon hadn't just been blown to pieces, there was no chance that Baz would join up with the pirates. But Simon has been blown to pieces which means that Baz's heart has been blown to pieces. Even if he never really maximized his heart's potential during his eighteen years, he figures that there can't be much of a point in living without one. There's no way he could just pick up and carry on after this. After Simon. 

The captain is still looking at him expectantly, that giant quill still in his hand, waiting for an answer. A verbal one, apparently. 

Baz sits up a bit straighter. "Captain Humdrum," he says, his voice sharp and cold and emotionless, "I will never join your crew."

The captain growls in frustration and throws the quill to the ground. Mr. Mage scrambles to pick it up as the captain shakes his hands and rolls his eyes. "As you wish." 

A large, foul-smelling crew member comes by and cuts Baz loose with the swift slash of his machete. He grabs Baz and hauls him to his feet. Another pirate comes to help him, but Baz doesn't see why considering he's not even putting up a fight at this point. They each take one of his arms and brutally march him towards the plank. As they walk across the ship, the rest of the crew members shout swears and hold up their fists. As soon as his feet touch the plank, the two pirates that ushered him over leave him on his own. 

He could, he supposes, make a bigger deal of this. He could fight them and protest and go down knowing that he at least tried to fight for his life, but what's the point? He's hollow. Completely empty. He's been filled with a soul-shattering void that's burning him up from the inside. It hurts too much to live, now. With Simon gone. With the knowledge that Simon died thinking that Baz was the one who wanted him killed. So he's straightens his posture like he has when his father summons him to his study for a chat. He swallows the lump of nothing in his throat and closes his eyes for a moment, allowing this final feeling to wash over him. 

The breeze is quite pleasant out here and the water glistens in the moonlight. There aren't any waves anymore––not the kind that came with the explosion. Somewhere in the distance, a bird crows. He's never really thought about dying. Or, well, he's thought of it, but not of this part. In his mind, when things got bad, thinking about his death was comforting. It soothed him to know that there would always be a way out if he needed it. But those thoughts were like old memories––filled with holes. They jumped from some terrible car accident to the funeral with no real in-between. There was no recognition that the crash was his final moment. There was no whole life flashing before his eyes or any kind of white light. It was just...silent. Quiet. Feelingless. But now, as he stands on the wobbly plank that is the means to an end, it's not quite or feelingless. Behind him, the pirates cheer him on. Below him, the water ripples as small waves bump and hum against the belly of the ship. And behind him there is a cloud of smoke that he can still smell in the air. 

It's a louder death than he imagined for himself. Very much a spectacle. Just the end of a story that he didn't even write.

He walks forward, looking up at the tainted sky. A tear falls from his eye and lands on his cheek, but he doesn't make a move to wipe it away. He closes his eyes and takes the step off the plank––his final step. 

The wind lifts his hair off his neck and into the air as he falls. He takes a deep breathe, knowing that soon his lungs will be full of water. He braces for the impact––waits to feel the cool water as it surrounds him. Waits for the sound of the inevitable splash he'll make when he hits the surface. 

But none of that comes. There's something solid beneath him instead. Something holding him. A rogue pirate, perhaps? A strange savior? 

"I––"

A hand flies over his mouth. What is it with these people and their inability to wash their fucking hands? The one on his face smells smokey and burnt––like charred flesh. He opens his eyes to glare at his newest captor (hero? he doesn't know if he should thank them for saving him or punch them for not letting him just die). He expects a pirate, honestly. Someone done with the captain's plots and battles with a teenage boy. 

He finds that very teenage boy instead. 

His eyes widen. He's sure that it's a ghost because he saw Simon go up in flames. He felt the tremors of the explosion tear through the earth. No one, not even Simon bloody Snow, could survive something like that. 

But somehow, inexplicably, Simon's arms are holding him bridal-style again. He looks positively dreadful––coated in soot with blood and ash clinging to every piece of his skin. His tunic's torn to shreds and his hands are burnt, but he's here. And he's alive.

There are voices of concern about the lack of a splash above them, but Baz can barely hear them because Simon's heart is beating. It's beating so loud that Baz can hear it without having his head pressed up against his chest. Simon takes his hand off of Baz's mouth and stares at him for a second, his mouth hanging open, and then grins at him. 

Baz's mouth is on his in an instant. It's not a long kiss, but it's certainly very passionate. It's Baz telling Simon that he's sorry and that he loves him and that he's so happy that Simon's alive. 

Simon turns his head and Baz notices that Penny's back at his side. Well, hovering at his shoulder, anyway. Baz shoots her a small smile and she smiles back. She points up and Simon nods. His grip on Baz tightens as he flies them up in the air, up above the bickering pirates. They land behind the main sail and watch the pirates for a moment. 

Simon watches the pirates, anyway. 

Baz watches Simon in awe. 

Alive, he smiles to himself. Simon Snow is alive.


	17. Duality Duel

The captain shoves someone overboard and turns back to the rest of his crew. "Who's next?" he shouts, pointing a threatening finger at the lot of them. They bow their heads and remain silent.

Simon is up on his feet and soaring through the air in an instant. "You're next, Humdrum!" he shouts, rounding the sail and making his presence known to the pirates. "This time you've gone too fucking far!" 

The captain shudders. "It can't be!"

To his left, Mr. Mage is shaking. "It's his fucking ghost talking," Mr. Mage stammers, his eyes full of fear. 

Simon summons his sword and grasps the hilt firmly in his hand. He is beyond exhausted and in an incredible, incalculable amount of pain right now, but he'll be damned if he doesn't set the record straight. No one, and he means no one, fucks with Baz and gets away with it. 

"Say your prayers, Humdrum!" he shouts, raising the sword at the shocked captain below him.

The captain unsheathes his own weapon and waves it in the air. "I'll show this ghost has blood in his veins," he promises.

Simon musters all his strength and tries to embody the person he was less than twenty four hours ago. The Simon Snow that loved the adventure of it all, even if sword-fights with middle-aged men in silly hats seem ridiculous to him now. One last adventure. He'd better make it a good one.

He pushes himself off the beam and soars down to meet the captain on the ship. 

"I'll run him through!" the captain shouts, waving his sword again. Simon flies under his legs and pokes him in the back with his sword, teasing him. Even after all of that nonsense with the bomb and taking Baz, he still doesn't want to kill him. He doesn't want to kill anything again, if he can help it. 

The captain growls in frustration and starts slashing his sword aimlessly at Simon. It's easy enough for Simon to dodge the sloppy attacks or to use his own sword to halt them when they get too close. The captain swings his sword back and then pushes it forward with all his strength, but Simon is too quick so the sword cuts into a post instead. 

"Don't just stand there, you idiots! Get the scurvy brat up there!" the captain shouts, pointing to where Baz is watching this all unfold from up above. Simon would like to have the energy to worry about Baz and go protect him, but the Humdrum is swinging his sword again with a new, intense energy that Simon can hardly fight off. He knows that Penny will keep Baz safe. With the two of them working together, those pirates don't stand a fucking chance.

Simon stomps on the captain's foot, causing the man to stumble back and onto the wobbly plank. Simon flies to meet him, cutting that stupid feather off of his hat in a clean swipe. The captain growls again as Simon uses the feather to tauntingly tickle his face, waving it right under his nose. 

"This is no mere boy," the captain mutters to himself. "'Tis some...fiend fighting me. A flying devil!"

Simon's heart sinks at the words. The way the captain's just described him...it makes him sound an awful lot like his father. A devil. A fiend. Through all of his adventures, he's never stopped to think about what he's doing. The consequences his actions must have somewhere down the line. And the captain's words burn in the back of his throat because he's right, in a way. Simon causes trouble. He hurts people and creatures. Just like his father. He can't stop the frown from setting in on his lips. The captain looks at him for a moment and grins, the side of his mouth twitching up into that sickening smile that Simon hates so much. 

"Ah," he says, pointing his sword at Simon. "You've finally figured it out, haven't you? Learned about who he really was? What he did?"

Simon pretends he doesn't know what the captain's talking about. Simon shakes his words out of his head and slaps that grin back on his face. He flies up, the feather still in hand, and lands on a post. He makes a big show of cutting the feather into tiny, useless pieces that fall limply to the ground. He follows the feather bits back down to the ground and charges at the captain, but the captain is quick to defend himself against Simon's attack.

Fighting him doesn't feel like it used to. Not just because Simon is drained and no longer finds it fun, but because there's some sort of strange tension that's hanging thick between them now. Because, somehow, the Humdrum knows about Simon's father. Knows what kind of man he was and how Simon's afraid to become that, too. So instead of thinking about it, he attacks harder. Stronger. More calculated. 

Suddenly, Penny is by his ear and whispering something to him. 

"The netting, Simon! Use the netting!"

He furrows his brow at her before turning and seeing the netting there on the side of the boat. He grins at her and flies off, forcing himself against the rope. He waits a moment, letting his weight sink into it, before allowing the netting to recoil against him, sending him off like a rocket so he can deliver a fierce, loaded kick right to the Humdrum's chin. The force sends the captain back and into a cannon. There's a loud thud as his head makes contact with the metal object. 

While the captain is unconscious, Simon lets himself soar up and rush to Baz's side to help him with the flood of pirates that are trying their hardest to attack him. Simon uses his blade to cut the ropes that hold them up and they go tumbling to the ground.

Baz, shocked, opens his mouth to say something but Simon kisses him quickly, sends him a wink, and goes back down to deal with the captain who's coming to again. 

The captain, still on the ground, pulls himself to his feet and rubs his head. 

"You know," he says, picking up his sword, "I was starting to wonder when you would figure it out."

Simon growls at him, fist clenching around the hilt of his sword. His knuckles are turning white from the effort.

"I wonder though, Simon...when your friend told you about him, did she tell you about me, too? Or has she not even pieced it together yet?"

Simon clenches his teeth and flies up to a post on the mast again.

"Fine, fly! Fly, you coward!"

This stops Simon dead in his tracks. "Coward? Me?" He's been called many things before, but never a coward. If anything, he's too brave. Too impulsive. He rushes headfirst into battle without a plan or an inkling of what he'll do if things don't go his way. 

The captain sneers as he climbs up to meet him. "Ha! You wouldn't dare fight old Humdrum man to man! You'd fly away like a cowardly sparrow!"

"Nobody who calls Snow a coward," he challenges, "lives. I'll fight you man to man." But that's not enough, is it? It never is with the pair of them. Simon can't just match the challenge––he has to one up the bastard. "I'll fight with one hand behind my back!"

The Humdrum is on top of him now, his sword against Simon. Simon's barely holding it off and he can feel the metal edge dig into his throat. 

"You mean you won't fly?" Spit flies off of his lips and onto Simon's face. 

He can see it, now. This close. What Baz meant when he said that they looked similar. He's got the same eyes that Simon has. They're a bit duller and more angry, but it's the same blue that he sees whenever he catches his reflection. He's got the same moles and freckles that Simon has, too. He doesn't think they're in the same places as his––how could they be––but he has them across his face like Simon has. It's unnerving, honestly. Like looking into a cracked, distorted mirror. 

"No, don't, Simon! It's a trick!" Baz calls from below them. 

"I give my word, Humdrum" Simon assures the captain, chin out. 

"Good!" he rips his sword away from Simon's neck and the surprise of it all sends Simon flat on his ass. "Then let's have at it!"

The mast is too thin for Simon to land on like this, so he starts to fall off. He grips the wood with one hand, holding himself up. His arm is too tired and beaten down for all of this, but he can't fly up to save himself. He promised that he wouldn't. The captain towers above him and digs the heel of his shoe onto Simon's clenching fingers. He cries out in pain and lets go, falling down and catching himself on a rope below. He gets a hold on the upper part of the rope and digs his heels into the bottom of it, giving himself enough strength to hoist himself back up onto to the mast and dodge the captain's incoming attack.

The captain, perturbed that Simon managed his way back up, swipes at his feet. Simon leaps into the air and realizes that he's going to fall back and into the water, so he grabs a hold of another rope––the one the captain just sliced off when aiming for Simon's feet––and lets it swing him over to the other side of the mast. He starts to land when the captain slices through this rope, too, making Simon's landing a bit tricky and unstable. He manages to get one foot on the solid wood but he has to catch himself before falling off. The captain keeps swinging at him as he gets his bearings together again. After a moment, he's managed to push the Humdrum back a few feet with his powerful blocks and attacks. 

Somehow, the captain manages to get a good swipe in that sends Simon's sword up in the air. He scrambles to catch it, but the captain beats him to it. He holds it out at Simon and shoves him to the ground, his back against the mast.

"Now, my insolent youth––"

Simon cocks his brow at that. His insolent youth?

"Prepare to die!"

He's pointing Simon's sword against Simon's chest, making Simon slowly inch backwards in an effort to shake him. 

"Fly, fly, Simon! Fly!" Baz calls from somewhere out of Simon's eye line.

"No," he snaps, trying to find Baz in all of this. It dawns on Simon that this might really be the end––the final battle. His eyes find Baz's in an instant. Baz looks completely terrified of what might happen and Simon can see hundreds of emotions swimming around in his cool, grey eyes. "I gave my word."

The captain grins at him. Simon has reached the end of the mast, now. One more inch and he'll plummet to his death. The captain knows this so he digs his sword deeper into Simon's chest. It slowly makes its way through Simon's flesh. The pain of it is almost blinding, but Simon knows that he needs to hold on as long as he can. 

"Fitting, this, innit?" the captain grins. 

The sword hurts his chest and Simon growls at him as it digs in deeper. 

"Simon killing Simon," he continues. 

Simon stares up at him, totally baffled. "Y––your real name's Simon?" 

"Ah, so you never did figure it out then, did you?" he laughs at him. "Well, allow me to enlighten you, seeing as this is probably the last thing you'll ever hear. You were seventeen when you found that little fairy, weren't you? And she said she felt your pain." He turns towards Baz and Penny who stare at them with wide eyes and confusion. "Tell him, little fairy! Tell him why you really went and fetched him!"

Simon turns, too, and sees Penny flying over to him. She lands on his chest, right above the sword and where the tip of it gets lost in Simon's shirt and flesh. She's crying, he sees. He furrows his brow at her. 

"Oh, Simon," she says. "I...I saw a future. That's how I found you. I saw your future."

"What was my future?"

She looks up at the captain and then back at Simon. "You were––" she looks back up at the Humdrum, then back at Simon again. Simon wants to tell her that whipping her head that much might give her whiplash, but he doesn't think he could manage the words even if he wanted to. "Fucking hell," she mumbles. "How did I never see it before? Of course!"

Simon glares at her. 

"Simon, I saw a future where you...where you turned into him. Evil. Plotting. Heartless. And I tried to save you from it, but I see now that I couldn't. Because, Simon, you are Captain Humdrum."

Simon laughs. He wonders if Baz put her up to this. "Christ, Pen! Do you even hear yourself?"

She shakes her head. "It's true, Simon. It must've happened when I took you. We aren't supposed to do that––I knew there would be consequences, but I never imagined...when I brought you here, part of you must have stayed behind."

"Very good," the Humdrum sneers. "I was left behind. Me, the one that had to grow up with him. With that monster. The one who killed our mother!"

"What? You mean..."

"Yes! I stayed behind. Grew up. Then I heard about you and the life you got to have here. And I...I wanted that. You got away, you forced me to stay behind with our father!"

Simon blinks. He's extremely confused. "My shadow..." he manages. 

It all makes sense in an instant. It all slots into place. And Simon knows how to defeat him, now. Knows how to win this once and for all because, well, he's fighting himself. Penny must see his gears turning because she flies off towards Baz to watch what Simon will do next. 

He grins at the captain, at himself, knowing that he can defeat him without laying a finger on him. Simon's emotions have always ruled him, and he never thought it could be useful. It is now, though, because all he has to do is get the captain really, really angry. 

"Father didn't kill her," he says, "we did. We drove him bloody mental with our crying and our questions. Always so curious. So emotional."

The captain stumbles back, the sword leaving Simon's chest as he shakes his head and steps away. Just a step at first, but it's enough. It's proof that this might work.

"We're just like him, aren't we? No matter what we do, we will always be just like him. I mean, look at us!"

There's that anger in his eyes now. He growls and clenches the sword tighter in his hand. Simon stands.

"No one in their right mind would love us. Not Father, not even Mother. Can you blame them? We cause destruction and chaos everywhere we go. We crave adventure because at least we're good with a sword. And if we can show someone that part of us, maybe they'll stay, yeah? But they won't. They never do. Everyone leaves us because all we're good for is a bloody story."

The captain screams out and sprints towards Simon with his sword raised, but Simon flies up and out of the way so the captain's charge leads him straight off the mast and into the water below. 

This time, there's a splash.


	18. Ever the Hero

Splash.

The sound of the Feared Captain Humdrum falling into the water cuts through Baz's mind like a knife. Simon's words have been racing around his head at an unprecedented speed.

No one in their right mind would love us. 

That one in particular is haunting Baz an awful lot. He opens his mouth to say something but Simon's eyes roll back into his head and he begins to fall off the mast, seemingly spent from the day's activities. Penny flies up and sprinkles some fairy dust on him to keep him upright since she can't support him on her own. If Baz still had dust, he would have gone up to join them and help, but he can't. Instead, he is sequestered to this crow's nest and has to watch as Penny manages to steady Simon in the air. 

"Basil!" she snaps, gesturing to Simon like Baz should be up there helping them. 

"I'm out of dust," he snaps. 

Penny throws a ball of dust over towards Baz and it lands in his face. The tingle of it on his nose makes him sneeze, but then he thinks of Simon and he's flying through the air to help support Simon's dead weight. He scoops Simon up in his arms, the way Simon has to save him twice now from near death experiences, and flies him to the ground. He lays him down on the floor of the ship and tries to assess the damage. He's still covered in soot but Baz can tell that he's too pale and drained. He figures that he must have a slew of injuries from both the explosion and the sword fight, so he assumes that at least part of this is blood loss. He rips through Simon's tunic and finds one big gash on the side of Simon's abdomen, a small slice on his neck, and another large puncture wound in Simon's chest. There are burns and other, smaller cuts and bruises on his chest and arms, and Baz knows that he has to have a pretty decent amount on his back, too. 

The sight of it is almost too much for him. He loves this man with everything in him so it hurts to see him in such a sorry state. It also hurts because Baz knows that a lot of this is his fault––for coming, for fighting with him, for getting kidnapped. All of it. And if Simon lives, he isn't sure that he'll choose to be with Baz after all of this. 

"Is he..." he doesn't want to finish the sentence. 

Penny puts her hands carefully on Simon's wrist and sighs. "He's alive. Barely. Before...before we got here, I thought he was done for. And now..."

Baz sucks in a painful breath and carefully runs his fingers through Simon's oh so soft curls. They're not as soft right now, but that's nothing that a good shower won't fix. With his other hand, he carefully picks up one of Simon's and locks their fingers together like his touch will make him wake up. He holds their bound hands over his own heart so Simon can feel that Baz's heart beats for him. Only for him. 

Suddenly, Baz is staring at blue. It's duller than normal, but it's still Simon's beautiful, glorious blue. Simon smiles up at him. 

"How's that for an adventure?"

With a strangled sob, Baz pulls Simon up and into his arms. Simon's hands are around his shoulders, holding Baz against his battered body. Baz realizes Simon's injuries are probably painful enough without being pressed up against his own chest, so he moves Simon away from him. Simon smiles at him, a soft smile, and moves his hands up to cup Baz's cheeks. His thumb gently wipes at Baz's face and Baz realizes that he's crying profusely because he's just so fucking happy that Simon is okay. 

"You're a fucking tragedy, Simon," Baz breathes. It's shaky and there's no bite to it. He never wants to have a bite in his voice again when it comes to Simon. He knows what it's like to lose him––twice now, actually––and he plans on spending the rest of his time making Simon see just how wrong he was when he said that no one would love him. 

"You like it though, yeah?" 

Baz grins. He can't help it. "I love it."

Simon kisses him softly and it feels so good to have Simon's lips back on his own. Baz supposes that they've already kissed twice since the explosion, but not like this. Not where Simon's tongue is in Baz's mouth and Baz can't help but let out a small moan as Simon's hand rests on his stomach, slowly rubbing it like he's the most precious thing in the fucking world. 

Baz pulls away from him, already missing the feeling. 

"Fuck," he says, "the Humdrum! He'll come back for you. We should hide––mmph!"

He's cut off because Simon has just planted another kiss on his lips. "Don't worry about it."

Baz huffs. "Look, I know that you don't like thinking about things much, but I think we should take some sort of preventative measure for when he swims to shore and finds his way––why are you just shaking your head?"

"He won't swim to shore," Simon argues.

Baz can't believe that the love of his life is such a moron. A beautiful moron, but a moron no less. "Oh, really? How do you figure?"

Simon shrugs. "He's me, yeah?"

Baz nods, not following.

Simon smiles sheepishly at him. "I can't swim."

"Simon, you literally saved Philippa, and myself, I might add, underwater."

"Yeah, but I didn't swim. Just sank down and flew up again."

"You're a moron."

Simon grins at him. "Yeah," he says, tapping Baz's nose, "but you love me."

Things after that are a bit of a whirlwind. Together, Penny and Baz get Simon over to Ebb's cottage where a combination of both Penny and Ebb's magic help heal Simon. They give him some strong, herbal tea that Ebb grows out in her garden and it puts Simon right to sleep. Then Penny and Ebb insist that they look at Baz for injuries before deciding that they're all bloody exhausted and that some sleep might do them all some good. Simon's asleep on the only bed, so Ebb insists that Baz join him and that she's fine sleeping on the floor by the fire. Baz means to argue, but he's so beyond knackered that he just sorts of hums and falls into bed with Simon, wrapping his arms protectively around him. 

He wakes up in the middle of the night to Simon's whimpering.

"Simon?" Baz asks before turning over to see what's going on. 

Simon is still asleep and curled up into himself like he's trying to make himself disappear. It breaks Baz's heart when he realizes that Simon is probably having a nightmare about the day's harrowing events. He doesn't know what to do to help, so he does the things his mother did for him whenever he had night terrors. 

He moves closer to Simon and wraps his arms around Simon's bruised torso, planting a kiss onto his bare, freckled shoulder. He nuzzles his cheek against Simon's back and listens as Simon's breathing evens out. 

"B––Baz?"

"Here."

Simon turns to face him, his eyes blue and panicky. "I––you're okay?"

Baz hums and brushes a stray curl off of Simon's forehead. "I'm okay. Penny's okay. You're okay. You're safe. We're at Ebb's."

Simon sighs in relief. "I had a nightmare," he says, "and...Baz, do you still want to go home?"

Baz thinks about that for a second. 

He misses his family and his friends a great deal, but he knows that he'd miss Simon even more. He doesn't really want to stay in Neverland, especially with the past twenty-four hours under his belt, but he really can't bring himself to leave Simon. If Simon wants him to stay, if he asks, Baz knows that he'll give in. There's no way he can say no to him, especially not now. After everything. 

"If you want me to, I'll––"

"No," Simon says, sticking his chin out. "I...I didn't mean that. I meant, honestly, do you want to go home?"

"I––yes. I'm sorry. I do."

Simon shakes his head at him and brings his hand over Baz's heart, feeling it beat underneath his finger tips. "I want to go with you. I can't...I can't stay here. It's too much. It hurts."

Baz nods and plants a kiss to Simon's forehead. "If you want that, I'd be happy to take you home with me. I can show you everything you've been missing out on––phones, the internet, showers. It'll be great. We can have new adventures. Tamer ones, perhaps. And I promise you a bedtime story every night and a kiss to wake you up."

Simon's crying, but they don't seem like sad tears anymore. He pulls himself against Baz's chest and stays there for a moment before muttering something that Baz can't understand.

"What was that, love?"

Simon peers up at him. "I said I love you. So much." 

Baz feels his heart nearly bursting in his chest. "I love you too, Simon. With everything in me." 

Simon grins at him and delivers a kiss to Baz's chest. "I just...can I ask one more thing?"

"Of course."

Simon absent-mindedly fiddles with the hem of Baz's pants. "I––can you ask Penny something for me? I don't think I'll be able to look at her straight and ask. But it's...it's what I want. Really."

Baz is getting a bit nervous now. "Sure? What is it?"

Simon sighs. "I want...I know she can Ebb together could do it. I know they have the kind of power to."

"To do what, Simon?"

"To make me forget. All of this. Neverland. I want to be with you and remember you, but I just...I want them to fix my brain. Take it away from me. I was never supposed to be here, anyway, and I just think it'll be easier if they can rewrite my memories so I don't remember this at all."

Baz kisses him. Softly. Briefly. Just enough to say how much he loves him without using words. "I'll ask her."


	19. Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

"Penny and Ebb will be here in about an hour," Baz says. They got back to Baz's house about fifteen minutes ago. They're sitting on the sofa at the end of Baz's bed and Simon hasn't moved an inch the whole time. He has his arms wrapped around Baz protectively like the Humdrum might come back from the dead at any moment and snatch him up. Truthfully, Simon is terrified of what's going to come when he wakes up tomorrow morning. He knows that this, erasing all memories of Neverland, is what's best for him, but the thought of waking up without this part of him makes him queasy. Since this kind of magic has never been done before, he can't help but worry that it won't work right and that somehow he'll forget Baz in it all. So he holds him tight, Baz holds him back and peppers Simon's still sooty hairline with kisses. Every so often, Baz will remind Simon that he loves him in a breathless kind of whisper that knocks the wind out of Simon's chest. 

He's so in love and so terrified that he won't be in a few hours. 

"You should shower," Baz says. 

Simon pushes his face harder into the space between Baz's neck and shoulder. "'M not gonna leave you," Simon insists. "Not for a minute." 

Baz sighs and runs his fingers delicately down Simon's bare arm, leaving a trail of gooseflesh. "I'll come with you. You don't know how a shower works, anyway." He laughs for a moment and it almost makes Simon forget everything else. He could get lost in the sound of Baz's laugh, of how cool and calming his fingers feel against Simon's skin, the sound of his velvet voice, the edges of his little smiles. Simon could get lost in Baz full stop. If he doesn't get up, he think he might. 

He stands and Baz stands with him. He guides Simon to the en suite and shows him the shower and how to adjust the taps. He starts to leave once they've gotten the water to a nice, warm temperature, but Simon grabs his wrist. 

"Please," Simon begs, "stay."

"You want me to sit in here?"

Simon shakes his head. He doesn't think he's ready to do much with Baz sexually since he's terrified of fucking it up, but he knows that he wants this. If this is his last night with Baz in his mind, he wants to make sure it's a good one. He wants a feeling to hold onto for later––some memory of Baz's flesh against his own to haunt him when he dreams. He wants Baz in his entirety tonight but without sex. He wants to allow himself to be real and vulnerable with him because he doesn't know if he'll have the chance again. 

"Shower with me." The word, shower, still feels foreign on his tongue, but Baz has assured him that it's the same thing as a bath only you stand upright and let a magical stream of water pour over you over and over again. 

Baz looks terrified for a moment and Simon thinks that he's done something wrong, but then Baz kisses him softly on the lips. 

"Okay, Simon. Get undressed."

There's not much for Simon to really undress, so instead he watches as Baz pulls his arms up over his head with the hem of his shirt clenched between his fists. The muscles contract with the movement and Simon feels himself getting hot all over––his cheeks, his ears. Everything is on fire. He knows that he's seen Baz shirtless before, but it's never been like this. And it really doesn't help that Baz is all lean muscle and sharp edges that Simon wants to run his fingers over. He wants to feel that contraction under his own fingertips.

Baz notices Simon staring at him, open-mouthed, and smirks at him. He unbuttons then unzips his jeans and Simon watches in awe as they fall in a pile at his ankles. Gracefully, Baz steps out of them and then hooks his fingers into the waistband of his pants. He arches a perfectly manicured brow at Simon and Simon grows even hotter under the gaze. He wonders, vacantly, if it's weird to get so turned on by eyebrows.

"You too, Simon."

Simon nods and they both take off their last remaining article of clothing at the same time. Simon's jaw is slack and useless as he takes in the sight. Baz is, unmistakably, beautiful. He's more beautiful than Agatha ever was, for certain. His narrow frame hardly does justice to the wonderful intricacy of his strong legs and chest. Every single inch of him is perfect and elegant and Simon wants to, at some point, take his time with getting to know it all, but he know he won't do that tonight. Tonight, he'll get into this shower contraption with Baz and they'll scrub themselves clean of the last physical reminders of Neverland. Most of Simon's gashes are gone due to the insane amount of healing magic his friends used on him, but he can feel the scabs and scars forming.

He didn't have a mirror in his home, so he never properly looked at himself. He's caught his reflection in windows or on the water sometimes, but he's always properly dressed for that. He's assessed his scars a few times out of sheer boredom, but never in much detail. And now, standing in front of Baz in all his naked glory, Simon becomes of aware of how horrible he must look in comparison. He hasn't been eating all that much over the years so he assumes that he's too skinny, but he knows that his legs are a bit thick from all of those sword fights and the running and leaping off the ground into flight. His fingers are hard and callused from the sword and his recent burn injuries and his skin is peppered with scars and moles. Too many for him to count, probably, even if he tried to put the time in. He closes his eyes as Baz takes in the sight of him, preparing himself to hear the laugh or the jokes about his body, but instead he feels something soft settle on the scar from the Humdrum––the one on the center of his chest.

He opens his eyes and sees that the soft thing is in fact a kiss from Baz's lips.

"What're you doing?" Simon asks. Whispers.

Baz plants another kiss to the thin, scabbing line across Simon's throat and then peers up at him. "You're beautiful, Simon. Just...so fucking beautiful."

Simon bursts into tears, his body shaking and heaving. Baz doesn't judge him or say a word about it. Instead, he lets Simon cry as he gently leads him into the massive shower and starts rubbing soap across Simon's body. Simon's head hangs as Baz works and he sees red and black pool by his toes and swirl down the drain. Baz runs shampoo through Simon's hair and gives him a few kisses on the forehead whilst murmuring, "beautiful. Absolutely beautiful." 

When Penny arrives with Ebb, both Simon and Baz are clothes in pyjamas and dried off. Simon is leaning against Baz and gives his friends a smile as they climb through the window.

"Are you sure about this, Simon?" Penny asks, hovering in front of him. 

He nods. "I––I'm going to miss you, Penny. So much." 

She smiles sadly at him as if to say no, you won't. Even if Simon doesn't actively know that he's missing her, he knows that he'll feel it in his heart somewhere. That tender ache that comes when you've forgotten something but you don't know what it is. Like a distant memory of happiness that you can't quite reach. Maybe his memories will roll up on the shore of Neverland one day as Lost Things. Maybe, when he's old, he will, too. And Penny will find him on the shore and suddenly it'll all come rushing back to him and he and Baz will live there until the end of time together. Happy. 

Baz helps Simon settle against the pillows as Ebb and Penny have a last minute clarification of what they're doing. Ebb takes Simon's hand and closes her eyes, so Simon does, too.

"I've got them now, Simon," she says. 

He doesn't understand. He can still remember everything. "What, Ebb?"

"Your emotions. I'll hold onto 'em until you need 'em again one day." 

He smiles at her and she plants a kiss on his forehead.

"Are you ready for this, Simon?" Baz asks from his side. 

These are the three people he loves most in the world. To his right is the absolute love of his life, the boy of his dreams. In front of him is the only mother he's ever known, the one who will love him unconditionally. And somewhere off that mother's shoulder is the best friend he could have ever asked for, the one who tried to protect him with every new day. And he doesn't know what tomorrow will bring for him, or in the days or years to come, but he knows that, as long as these three are somewhere in his heart, he'll be okay. 

He squeezes Baz's hand. "I'm ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Neverland, but I'll be starting a sequel very soon called Return to Neverland. And I'm very excited about it. Love you all!


End file.
